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“Use Sex Porn Against Sex Porn”: What Kind Of Sex Porn Do Women Like?

“Use sex porn against sex porn”: What kind of sex porn do women like?

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“Use Sex Porn Against Sex Porn”: What Kind Of Sex Porn Do Women Like?

“Use sex porn against sex porn”: What kind of sex porn do women like?

“Use sex porn against sex porn”
1. Do you remember the first time you watched porn (sex porn) when you were old?

According to a survey, the average age at which children now come into contact with their “first sex porn” is 11 years old. Which may include Sexvideo, x vedio, video prono, Draftsex, cartoon porn…

Don’t think it’s just because young people are getting more and more dishonest.

Those children who saw pornographic content on the Internet for the first time when they were 7 or 8 years old, usually did not “look for it on purpose.” Their basic feeling after seeing these contents is “confused” and “disgusting.”

The problem is that if an adult watches a movie, they probably know that it is just entertainment.

But for inexperienced children, pornography may create a distorted view of sex, mistake “sex in sex porn” for real, and aggravate the discrimination of some men against women, and aggravate the physical anxiety of both sexes.

ĔLorna, “I found that in pure porn, men can insult women very strongly… He just pushes her around.”

Ĕ April said she has seen “violent and extreme pornography” since she was 7 years old, which she believes affected her later sexual preference.

Calum recalled his first sexual experience and said-“It was like imitating pornography. At the time I thought I could do whatever I wanted to this girl because no matter what I did, she would enjoy it.”

“Use sex porn against sex porn”
2. Is “sex porn” good or bad?

When I first talked to my friend about Erika’s “better sex porn”, the conversation immediately overturned. Because she asked me: What is better sex porn? Are you talking about…higher definition?

If you want to talk about “good porn,” you have to talk about the current mainstream porn.

Over the past decade, global consumption of erotic content has continued to grow. However, the current mainstream sex porn, mostly with men as the main consumer, is full of violence and distorted gender concepts.


(1) Features of “immoral and unhealthy sex porn”

This type of sex porn is called “immoral and unhealthy sex porn” by Erika Lust, a famous Swedish female erotic director, and most of them have the following characteristics:

  • Men are always large in size for a long time, women can always reach many orgasms before men (creating unrealistic expectations for themselves and others’ bodies);
  • No matter what men do, women enjoy it (even if it is violence/rape);
  • Most of them have no storyline, and there is no preparation process before intense intercourse;
  • Actors never wear a condom, and do not discuss safety, emotions, or boundaries (also tacitly agree that women’s “no” is an irony);
  • Few close-ups of male faces appear in the video, but there are many close-ups of female faces;
  • Porn generally ends hurriedly after a male ejaculate, implying that male orgasm is the ultimate goal of sexual behavior;
  • A kind of plot is “college student affair.” Producers will ask how old these girls are. They tell the camera that they are 18 years old, but they are actually underage. In some countries with weak legal systems, this may result in the exploitation of women;

In short, in this type of porn:

Sex is something done to (to) a person, not a relationship with (with) a person;

Content subject to manipulation, violence, depravity, or personality humiliation;

The actors have unrealistic body shapes and beauty standards;

This kind of porn does not respect the performers, their requirements, and their happiness.

(2) Features of “moral and healthy sex porn”

Because Erika itself is a pioneering porn film director, who specializes in shooting porn that women love to watch, and wants to make high-quality sex porn to transform the industry.

In her mind, “Ethical porn (Ethical porn)” is like this:

  • The actors are adults with informed consent;
  • They are equal, care about each other, and respect each other’s happiness;
  • They have a variety of body shapes, sexual conditions, and sexual orientations;
  • Sex is not only physical, it also includes emotion and connection;
  • Porn can be erotic, funny, and real;
  • It encourages communication about sex;
  • ……

Over the years, female consumers of pornography have been increasing, but the industry is still dominated by male users. There are two reasons:

① It’s not that women don’t like to watch sex porn, but that these sex porn do not cater to women’s needs.

Because it often disrespects women, full of violence, rough and false plots.

② Watching Japanese AV (Japanese sex porn) can indeed stimulate their sexual excitement, but it is also emotionally disturbing. Because they perceive a kind of disharmony in pornographic actresses (feeling that they are forced to play sex porn because of financial pressure, “forcing them to be prostitutes”), it makes them experience emotional disorders.

“Use sex porn against sex porn”
3. “Against”

To realize the professional dream of “creating new, female-perspective pornography”, Erika created a popular erotic project called “XConfessions.com” to solicit real sexual fantasies from users.

Every month, Erika selects two of the stories she thinks are good and makes porn videos.

“What I want to create is something that both women and men can enjoy. Women are not seen as tools to satisfy happiness, they are real people. There are stories between them, they like sex, and they have happiness.”

(1) What is sex porn from a “female perspective”?

The so-called “female perspective” sex porn has two characteristics.

① It must be real.

Erika said, “Even if an actor farts during sex, I won’t lose it. Because sex should not be portrayed as an indecent thing.”

② It shows the “positive side of sex”: sex can be intimate, full of lust, and enjoyable.

Someone rang the bell. The girl was in the shower, so she wrapped a towel and hurriedly opened the door to order the pizza-the beginning of traditional sex porn maybe like this, but in Erika Lust’s “Good Girl” (2004), the protagonist has a personality and a clear Her sexual image, her sex is the result of a coherent storyline.

To do this means that sex porn cannot be at the expense of female celebrities. Because of the display of female images in traditional sex porn, it always makes people suspect that female stars are “forced” to sell meat.

Erika explained that in most mainstream pornography, it is difficult to tell whether the people in the film “really enjoy themselves”, especially women. “In my movie, girls are not accessories, but complex personalities like reality. They enjoy their sex life.”

“Use sex porn against sex porn”
4. Why do you want to talk to children about “what is good sex porn”?

In theory, sex education, pornography control (for children to use browsers dedicated to minors), and age classification (forbidden to watch under the age of 18) are all reasonable confrontations. But in the real world, you will find it very difficult.

Think about the phishing links in spam messages, the advertising pop-ups of games and video sites, the small cards in the hotel doors, the viewing groups between friends and classmates… It is completely filtered for teenagers to currently pervasive and easily accessible pornographic content, almost nothing It’s too possible.

“Use sex porn against sex porn” –

Statistics show that there are only about 21% of children have never heard of sex porn before the age of 18. Some children have seen pornography even when they are 7 or 8 years old which means that parents should start discussing these sensitive issues with their children before they are 10-11 years old at the latest.

Erika Lust realized this early on. She called it “the sad truth of modern society”:

“Children now learn about sex through porn, not through school or their parents. They can’t discern and may mistake the sex scenes in porn for reality.

So we must make sure, to be honest with them and let them make good choices about what they see, so that they do not view sex, desire, and gender from the distorted perspective of mainstream sex porn. “

For teenagers who may be exposed to pornography prematurely, Erika’s attitude is: Teach don’t ban (guidance instead of a ban. In fact, you can’t simply “ban”).

A few years earlier, Erika and her husband started a project called “The Porn Conversation.”, uniting a group of educators, therapists, and psychological counselors to teach parents when and how to talk to their children We started a conversation about pornography.

Erika is also the mother of two daughters. She believes that if you have already noticed that your child has been exposed to sex porn, you have to turn on “porn talk” as soon as possible.

“Use sex porn against sex porn” –

READ MORE: Before Kids Having Sex: Sex Education Is “Difficult To tell”?

In this process, it is important to emphasize two points with the child:

① Pornography is not true sex. This is people acting, not real relationships.

② The sexual relationship must be completely voluntary, trust and respect the other party, do what both parties want to do, as long as one party is uncomfortable, you should tell the other party to stop.

And it should never be said:

① Who showed it to you? Where did you find it? Why do you want to watch it? (With a reproachful tone, making them feel that this is a bad thing, they are guilty)

② Pornography is bad/evil/manipulative (passively turning sex into a “dangerous good” does not help children grow up)

“Use sex porn against sex porn”
5. Conclusion

Pornography is a strongly attractive word. But this topic is still a huge taboo (not to mention talking about sex with teenagers).

Due to the violence, stereotypes, and almost inhumane image connotations, mainstream sex porn is portraying sex as a dirty way of expression. These unidentified content may enter the “original pornographic script” in the minds of children. Affect their future relationship between the sexes.

We can choose to take the initiative to talk about pornography with children, rather than leave it all to the unscreened porn industry chain.

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I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

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2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

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