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Why BPD Relationships Never Work? How To Cure BPD Relationships?

Why BPD Relationships Never Work? What is borderline personality disorder? Borderline personality disorder is a common personality disorder in psychiatry. It is mainly characterized by unstable emotions, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior, and is accompanied by a variety of impulsive behaviors. It is a complex and serious mental disorder. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? The typical feature of borderline personality disorder is described by scholars as “stable instability”, which is often manifested as non-compliance in treatment, which is very difficult to treat.


01. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Main manifestations of borderline personality disorder

1. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? This is because of self-identification barriers

Disorder self-identity. People with borderline disorders are often unsure of who they are. Therefore, their self-image or self-awareness often changes quickly. Lack of self-goal and sense of self-worth, low self-esteem, lack of thinking and answers to questions such as “Who am I?”, “What kind of person am I?”, “Where am I going?” This kind of self-identity disorder often starts in adolescence, and patients with borderline personality disorder obviously have a lag in their self-identity, staying in a chaotic stage for a long time, and their self-images are discontinuous and contradictory, and they are in a “sense of identity”. Stagnant state”. This is reflected in various contradictions and conflicts in their lives. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? This is because they even wonder who they are.

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2. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Uncontrollable emotions

People with borderline personality feel deeper and longer than others. For example, when a typical emotional person is 12 seconds, their emotional time may be extended by 20%. In addition, emotions may be repeated, rapidly changing, and lasting for a long time. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Therefore, patients with borderline personality will take longer to recover to a stable emotional benchmark after a strong emotional experience.


Why BPD Relationships Never Work? The sensitivity, intensity, and duration of emotions in patients with borderline personality are both good and bad. People with marginal personality are often extraordinarily idealistic, happy, and likable. However, when they feel conquered by negative emotions, they feel intense grief instead of sadness, shame and embarrassment instead of slight embarrassment, anger instead of annoyance, panic instead of anxiety. Especially when you feel rejected, isolated, and fail. Before learning other coping mechanisms, their efforts to deal with or escape strong negative emotions may cause self-harm or suicidal behavior. They often know the strength of their negative emotional reactions, Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Because I can’t adjust, I have to completely block emotions. This behavior may be harmful to patients with marginal personality, because negative emotions also have its effect, alerting people to the existence of problem situations and urging people to stay away.


Although borderline personality patients are also prone to feel intense joy, they are particularly prone to feel irritable or psychologically and emotionally troubled. There are four typical irritability conditions: extreme emotions, destruction or self-destruction, feeling incomplete or lack of self, and feeling victimized. In these categories, borderline personality is strongly related to a combination of three specific conditions: 1) Feeling betrayed 2) Want to hurt yourself 3) Why BPD Relationships Never Work? This is because they feel completely out of control.


Why BPD Relationships Never Work? In addition to intense emotions, patients with borderline personality will also experience emotional instability and variability, not only in the rapid changes in depression and high emotions, but also in anger and anxiety, depression and anxiety, conversion situations occur more frequently.

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3. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? They will often have the fear of being abandoned and the fear of being alone

Significant separation anxiety. They were described as “walking into life with the umbilical cord in hand, always looking for a place to connect it.” Due to the severe lack of the experience of being loved and the care of others, the patient is very afraid of being alone and abandoned. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Very sensitive to abandonment and separation. When faced with separation, rejection or about to lose external support, strong stress responses may occur, including changes in self-image, emotion, cognition and behavior, and do everything possible to avoid separation scenarios. And it is possible to take extreme behaviors such as suicide, self-injury and self-injury to prevent abandonment.


Why BPD Relationships Never Work? When feeling abandoned, some patients will self-isolate (that is, completely lonely). However, they are afraid of loneliness in their hearts and lack the ability to comfort themselves. They often need to use various stimulating behaviors and substances such as masturbation, promiscuity, drinking, drug use, etc. to relieve their sense of emptiness and loneliness. Due to the extremely unstable interpersonal relationship and the strangeness and fear that may develop from this, and long-term loneliness, you may become a sex addict, alcoholic, or drug addict. Despite the extremely unstable pattern of interpersonal relationships and the fluctuating warmth to others because of fear, in fact, the heart needs to be accompanied by someone to get emotional comfort at all times. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? On the one hand, the lack of care in childhood is an important reason for the formation of borderline personality disorder; on the other hand, the marginal personality disorder developed due to the lack of care earlier makes it difficult to get the care of others.


4. Why BPD Relationships Never Work-a strong and extremely unstable interpersonal relationship model

The interpersonal relationship of borderline personality is unstable, which is closely related to the inability to bear parting and the fear of intimacy. A typical borderline personality patient will appear dependent, clingy, idealized, etc., but once a partner or friend begins to resist their needs, their rebound will become another extreme, such as demeaning each other, resisting intimate relationships or Escape and so on. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? On the one hand, the patient expects to be closely connected with others and be taken care of, but he is afraid of intimacy. In such a contradictory state of mind, there are constant conflicts. When they are in love, they will use certain methods to manipulate each other, such as complaining about physical discomfort, showing weakness or helplessness, self-abuse, suicide, etc., in order to attract the other’s attention and receive care.


Why BPD Relationships Never Work? Because the patient lacks the feeling of “object constancy”, when getting along with others, he always treats the other person as a new acquaintance and cannot face it with a consistent attitude, so the feeling towards the other person is always changing. Because I always focus on the part and cannot feel and see the full picture of things, it is more difficult to learn from the wrong experience in the past, and I cannot objectively understand my own behavior patterns. Therefore, inappropriate emotional patterns are always recycled. For example, a typical female patient will return to the partner of the abuser and be abused again, while a male patient will associate with unsuitable objects, and the cycle is always repeated.

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Therefore, under such a vicious circle, patients’ self-confidence in themselves is gradually lowered, self-identity barriers are generated, and others are doubted about the motivation of others to care about themselves. Why BPD Relationships Never Work? For the above reasons, they cannot develop true self-confidence and rely on others in a healthy way, making it difficult for them to achieve true intimacy when interacting with others.


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