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Why am I not enough for him? In the final analysis, it is because of inferiority. Inferiority can produce too many negative emotions. They seem different, but they are essentially the same. They “do their own duties” in different aspects of life. They have distinct priorities, complement each other, and promote each other. They evil circle after circle around the soul of inferiority.
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In love, they are always worried about gain and loss, and feel that each other’s expression is always illusory rhetoric; So use ugliness to test each other’s love. Before others deny themselves, they will say to themselves: “forget it, I can’t do it”, “it’s all fake, I don’t deserve to be loved”. But do they all seem weak? no
On the contrary, a large part of those people who seem to be high spirited, irritable, paranoid and even show pride on weekdays also have a strong sense of inferiority. So, what is the reason for the emergence of so many people in the world who think they are “unworthy of being loved”?
Why am I not enough for him in relationship? 1、 What are the characteristics of people who think they are “unworthy of being loved”?
Why am I not enough for him? 01. Extremely sensitive, strong perception of negative attacks.
After being reprimanded by the leader, other people choose to laugh, only you scrutinize every word in your heart and feel dejected.
Why am I not enough for him? 02. It’s easy to give up halfway and the manifestation of learned helplessness.
It’s hard to insist on everything, and often give up halfway. They lack self-confidence and strong belief in their own success.
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Why am I not enough for him? 03. There are two extremes: timid and aggressive
The former is the low level of self-awareness, which makes it difficult for others to establish differences of opinion; The latter is an over compensation for inferiority.
Why am I not enough for him? 04. Lack of security.
They think that they can’t effectively control the things that are not specified or testified by others. They lack a sense of certainty and control. Therefore, they are always very radical, demanding strict statements or responses on trivial matters.
Why am I not enough for him? 05. It is easy to abandon oneself.
In love, they belong to the extremely negative side. A little frustrated, their first reaction is not to cross the barrier, but to end it directly. For example, when they ask for directions, they will not readily accept them and then improve; But give up: “I’m not the person you want, I don’t deserve you, or break up.”
Why am I not enough for him? 06. Weak self-defense ability
If normal people are compared to wearing armor, then people with low self-esteem are naked. A passer-by’s inexplicable belittle can bring the self-awareness of the inferiority complex down two cases.
Why am I not enough for him? 07. No fight, no fight:
It’s because they don’t believe in their abilities.
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Why am I not enough for him? 08. Most of them are introverted
Because they are introverted, they seldom establish good communication with others, and they can’t get their true value from an objective point of view. The more autistic, the more fanciful, immersed in their own trap set by the deeper.
Why am I not enough for him in relationship? 2、 What is the origin of inferiority complex?
In fact, everyone has a sense of inferiority, and almost everyone, at a certain moment, has the idea of “I’m too bad, I don’t deserve to be loved”. But normal people will not let this idea hover for a long time, affecting the normal process; Why are you stuck in it all the time?
As early as 1910, Adler studied the trait of “inferiority complex”. He pointed out that all people have a sense of inferiority complex from birth, because children’s survival depends entirely on adults. In this kind of dependence, the strong adult in contrast with children, children will appear incompetent.
So, in order to overcome this sense of inferiority. Children may use emphasis on aggression and strength as a means of overcoming inferiority. But usually, there are three kinds of people who are unable to overcome their inferiority complex in this process.
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Why am I not enough for him? 01. People who were often hit by their parents in their childhood: parents turn a blind eye to your advantages, but your disadvantages are magnified infinitely. When you are the second in the class, your parents point to the first in the class to attack you. Let you have a kind of “no matter how hard, or nothing” self-awareness.
Why am I not enough for him? 02. Learned helplessness: there is a concept in psychology called “learned helplessness”, which means that when a person has suffered too many blows, he will simulate in his heart that he will still be defeated next time. Even though I can do it, I still habitually think I can’t.
Why am I not enough for him? 03. Self centered perfectionism: you only stand in your own perspective and stare at your own shortcomings. You think everyone is perfect, so your own shortcomings are more glaring.
Why am I not enough for him in relationship? 3、 How to improve “unworthy to be loved”?
In this world, as long as you are a normal person, you will always have the opportunity to be loved by others. You feel that you are average in appearance, bad in figure, bad in temper, bad in character, poor in family, no background, no specialty. However, all the reasons why you call yourself “unworthy of being loved” are variables in your own hands. So, are these reasons really blocking your value? These are the reasons you give to a normal self. What’s really holding you back?
Why am I not enough for him? 01. Objective self cognition
The way to find self-worth is to jump out of your own perspective. Use the third perspective to count your advantages and affirm them. Communicate with people around you and get your personal value from them.
Why am I not enough for him? 02. Try to break the anxiety
You may not find that when you are stagnant, your soul is anxious before you. You haven’t found out what’s wrong with your life, but you just feel inferior to others – in this case, most of it is your subconscious dissatisfaction with your life. Therefore, watching movies, novels and playing games will only aggravate your inferiority complex; Set a small positive goal for yourself, to learn, to enrich, to build confidence and strength step by step.
Why am I not enough for him? 03. The misfortune brought by jumping out of the original family.
Some people use childhood to cure their whole life; And some people use their whole life to cure their childhood.
This shadow is likely to accompany you into adulthood when you have been hit by the closest people around you since childhood. You feel that you are inferior to others. Even if you are already outstanding, you also feel that you are just a lucky shell. Under the shell, there is still the ugly foundation of fear of being discovered by others.
If you want to get rid of the shadow of the original family, the first step is to find out and admit that you are a “victim”, that many of your cognition and actions are wrong, and that your close relatives and even your parents have brought you bad influence. Then believe in yourself, according to your real experience and social experience, cross the boundaries of the original family, and find your own sky.
Or that sentence: anyone deserves to be loved, but you have not dug that worthy of being loved yourself, or simply horizontal in the middle, hindering all the beauty of the world to you. Don’t let inferiority in vain destroy you, because you deserve better love and life.
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