When a widower pulls away, and what are you going to do?
In fact, whether the man is a widower or a man in another capacity, there is a reason why he doesn’t love you and stays away from you.
There is a saying that has resonated with many people before: “The person I love does not love me, the person who loves me I do not love, and the person I love and who loves me does not show up.”
Although this is just a joke, but in real life, the two love is indeed a relatively small probability of events. Many people are in the sea of people, around and around, looking for the person they like and also like themselves. (#When a widower pulls away )
Why is it so difficult to want the person you like to like you? Why is it so hard to find the person you like, but the other person does not like you?
Some people say that it is because the feeling is not in place. This “feeling” seems to be more like a “metaphysics”, just like the word fate, do not know where to come from and do not know where to go.
In fact, I do not think the feelings are so metaphysical, from the perspective of male psychology to analyze, in fact, whether to like a person, there are signs.
So why, a boy does not like you? (#When a widower pulls away )
In fact, there are several reasons for this.
First of all, out of biological instinct, men will choose good-looking, good figure of the opposite sex as their spouse, this is so that their offspring can inherit its excellent genetic conditions. (#When a widower pulls away )
And why men did not choose you as their spouse, most likely the first point, is because your genetic conditions are not good enough.
In layman’s terms, it is your face value, has not reached the other party’s selection criteria. (#When a widower pulls away )
Of course, it is not that the kind of outstanding looks, beautiful as the fairy girls will be liked by the boys, generally clean-looking, good-looking girls can actually reach the majority of boys heart on the spouse look standard pass line.
Looks are just a first impression, when your first impression is not within the standard, then the next thing boys naturally will not think down. (#When a widower pulls away )
Secondly, the level of intimacy between you is not enough to drive him to fall in love with you.
Only when two strangers have experienced “mutual understanding”, “mutual trust”, “mutual help” after these three links, they will produce beyond the ordinary relationship emotions. (#When a widower pulls away )
So, if you and he, there is no basic mutual understanding, nor have they shared secrets with each other, you have not bothered each other, ask him to help, then your relationship has not reached the level of intimacy, the other party is naturally not enough to fall in love with you.
Read more: Why I Just Want Someone To Love Me
Demand is not obvious
What is not obvious need? The short answer is that his demand for you as a person is not that high.
This can be divided into two cases,
The first is: your attraction is less than the other person’s current life situation to his attraction.
He feels very comfortable or satisfied with his current state of life, and the surprise and comfort you bring him is not enough to get him out of his current comfort zone. (#When a widower pulls away )
He may be used to the current state of life, and your presence will inevitably break his current state, and the value you bring to him is far less than the value he needs to give up because he is with you.
Then he will choose to maintain the existing life, rather than give up the status quo to choose you. (#When a widower pulls away )
The second is that the value you provide, does not meet his needs.
Perhaps you yourself are actually a very attractive, high-value girl. But the other party’s needs are not what you have, then even if your value is high, it’s just high misalignment.
Very often, it is not that your value is not high and attractive, but these values of yours are not what he needs in his opinion, he does not appreciate.
So, naturally, he will not be attracted to you. (#When a widower pulls away )
The boy’s own direction is not clear
There are also some boys, he does not like you, the problem is not in you, but because of his own.
Some people, due to childhood parental divorce so produced stress trauma, so lead them to not believe in love, do not believe in marriage, so self-imposed closed, afraid to love. (#When a widower pulls away )
At this time, not only you, for any of the girls around him he holds a resistant mentality.
There is another kind of male, they belong to a player mentality. No girl can let them fixed down, they enjoy and different girls ambiguous, but simply will not hand over their heart. (#When a widower pulls away )
Because in their case, they are not going to give up the whole forest for a tree. Once he fell in love with you, with you to determine the relationship, it is equivalent to self-destruction, self-breaking, so of course he will not do that.
Finally there is a situation, is that although he also think you are very good, you also have some good feelings. But between the two of you is already a friend, and this rare and valuable friendship so that he treasures. (#When a widower pulls away )
But very often, being a lover is not as simple as being a friend. So he is afraid that this transformation of your relationship will hurt the relationship between you, and in the end even friends can not do. (#When a widower pulls away )
In their words, they can meet a lot of girls in their lifetime, but only one or two friends, so instead of doing the future uncertainty of the lovers, it is better to be a good friend for life. Because at least this way, he will not have the risk of losing you.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.