How to find “Supportive relationships”? The so-called “Supportive relationships” are not encountered by luck, but are often in the process of mutual influence and mutual growth. Supportive relationships are shaped through running-in and every learning improvement. This Relationship counselling online will give you the answer.
1. Compared with Supportive relationships, what are the types of bad partners?
Before understanding healthy Supportive relationships, we need to take a look at the types of bad partners that we often encounter in life:
1. The negative example of Supportive relationships-derogatory partner
Such a partner will not provide support in a relationship. They will express their dissatisfaction with you through words or actions. These expressions may be more subtle and difficult to detect, or they may be straightforward and derogatory. He will magnify your shortcomings, attack your appearance and even your personality. Under the influence of these words or actions, you will feel that you are “disliked,” and you may even doubt yourself and think that you are incompetent. Your relationship does not have emotional support in a relationship, which is obviously not a supportive relationship.
It should be noted that if you encounter a problem, this type of person will usually help you solve it, but this kind of help is actually weakening your strength. Through verbal depreciation, they first throw all the responsibility on you, and then help you solve the problem in order to gain a more adequate sense of control. If you can’t detect this kind of damage, in the long run, you may fall into self-doubt and feel that you “can’t do anything without him.”
2. The negative example of Supportive relationships-Doting partners
This type of partner can be summed up in one sentence-they accept you as you are, and even condone your worst appearance. They will pet you from time to time, but their petting is unprincipled. Specifically, doting partners can be divided into two subtypes.
3. The negative example of Supportive relationships-secret control type
In this relationship, he will give you absolute tolerance, but at the same time, he will also require that your “unreasonable trouble” and “truth” can only be shown in front of him. While there is no bottom line to tolerate you, he also deprived you of the opportunity to grow. You don’t even know whether you still need to grow. In the process, the other party’s secret desire for control will be satisfied.
4. Negative example of Supportive relationships-obedience to obedience:
There is also a type of partner who seems to be compliant to you, but in fact it is to avoid any conflict with you. If there is a conflict between you, his solution is likely to be flattering. For example, “It’s all my fault. Let’s not quarrel anymore. Would you like to change the topic?” Such people may grow up in a family full of quarrels. For them, compliance is a defensive strategy, but for their partners, this kind of avoidance will make their emotions lose their outlet. In the repeated dodge, the problem cannot be really solved.
5. The negative example of Supportive relationships-demanding partners
They will make all kinds of demands on you, and you need to meet them. If you deviate from their imagination and expectations, they will be angry, or try to change you unrealistically, or simply choose to leave. It is not so much that they love you, it is better to say that they love you who meet those standards. Once you are not satisfied, their love will lose the object of sustenance.
6. The negative example of Supportive relationships-emotionally absent partner
This type of partner may treat you well, but their tenderness and lack of temperature, like no matter what you do, they will not have emotional ups and downs. The emotionally absent partner usually has the following two types of performance, No support in relationship and no physical support in a relationship.
7. Negative example of Supportive relationships-Appearance is in harmony with God
They will give you a gentle company, but other than that, they don’t have more emotional involvement, as if proper treatment is set. You know they are considerate to you, but you can always feel that there is an emotional gap between you, not true intimacy. The fact is, this type of person may not love you enough, fail to open up to you, or even have other people in their hearts. Supportive relationships are not like this.
02. What kind of partner is needed for a healthy Supportive relationship?
There are different types of support in a relationship. A good and worth looking forward to Supportive relationships does not require unequal sacrifice and tolerance, but equal support and companionship. In reality, people who can do this are often defined as Supportive relationships. It can be said that Supportive relationships are essential for us to have healthy and intimacy. Cramer (2006) believes that these types of people can help us effectively improve our relationship satisfaction.
So, how to judge whether oneself or the other party is a “Supportive relationship”? You can refer to the following standards:
1. Supportive relationships-They accept you who you are
Supportive relationships show that they will not feel that “you should be like that” and try to make you what they expect. On the contrary, they accept who you are completely, respect your hobbies, tolerate your true character, and will not use ideal standards to discipline you.
2. Supportive relationships-they will make time for you
Being supportive in a relationship is very important. They will be by your side when you need it, and not only “appear”, but more importantly, they will make you feel the “presence” of your heart. They will put emotions and emotions into you and make you feel that you are not alone in facing all the problems. Become a supportive girlfriend, and then mutual support in a relationship in a relationship.
3. Supportive relationships-they give you space for personal growth
“I’m standing side by side with a tall tree, but not leaning on it” can well show the attitude of supporting sexual partners. They love you, but they will leave room for each, they will show dependence on you, and at the same time It also allows you to grow freely. It is usually expressed as emotional support in marriage.
4. Supportive relationships-even if they oppose you sometimes, they will never criticize you
Supportive relationships have their own position and persistence, and will not compromise without principles, but at the same time they will choose the way of positive communication to express their views. In a word, they support you but not necessarily your decision. .
It seems that Supportive relationships seem to be “fairy companions.” With him, our relationship will be smooth sailing from then on. However, in fact, this kind of thinking is very dangerous, and it is easy to lead to misunderstandings.
Misunderstanding 1: We will not quarrel with Supportive relationships
In relationships, the existence of Supportive relationships does not mean that conflicts are reduced. Supportive relationships have their own principles. They are not people with low self-esteem in their relationships. They will not use compromises to “tolerate everything”, but they can solve problems constructively and find the focus of conflict in every quarrel. Fundamentally optimize the relationship.
Misunderstanding 2: Just enjoy the function of Supportive relationships, it doesn’t matter whether you love him or not