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Secret Language Of Relationships: 8 Principles For Handling Intimacy

Secret Language Of Relationships: 100% of your contribution in the relationship is just on the verge of passing! 130% of the effort will lead you to the road to happiness. Be completely responsible for yourself, your world, and the people around you, and you will have real power! the secret language of relationships you must know.

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Secret Language Of Relationships: 8 Principles For Handling Intimacy

Secrets of Intimacy|Intimacy is 100% of both parties’ contribution, 8 principles for handling intimacy!

Secret Language Of Relationships: 100% of your contribution in the relationship is just on the verge of passing! 130% of the effort will lead you to the road to happiness. Be completely responsible for yourself, your world, and the people around you, and you will have real power! the secret language of relationships you must know.

Secret Language Of Relationships
01
Your happiness is your responsibility

Most people spend a lot of time thinking about what can make us happy. However, one of the greatest expectations is to think that our partner, or future partner, is responsible for making us happy. However, when we carefully examine this belief, we immediately realize that this is a stupid idea.

May wish to ask yourself, do you want a poor partner who is exactly like you, do you think their happiness is your responsibility? That being the case, why do you expect others to do the same for you? If you feel unhappy in your life, it means that you have to examine some of these things carefully and change them. Only you can deal with, transform and heal those feelings that make you uncomfortable. “Do you know the secret language of relationships? Do you know the secret book of relationships?”

Secret Language Of Relationships
02
Your needs are your responsibility

We think that our significant other, even our children, came to this world for the purpose of satisfying our needs. However, our needs are like a bottomless pit formed in childhood, when we judged our parents and complained that they did not care for us in the way we wanted.

Whenever we are angry or quarreling, what we have to express is that our partner has not taken care of our needs. We feel resentful for this. How can we feel that they can not meet our needs? Under our anger, we use emotional blackmail to force them to meet our needs, basically making them feel guilty for it.

When we become overwhelmed and try to take from others, we will feel more exhausted and become “energy vampires.” We must know “secret love language of relationships”, and “the secret language of relationships online”.

Secret Language Of Relationships
03
Your feeling is your responsibility

Usually, our first reaction to these statements is incredible. “That’s it!” We screamed in our hearts. “That’s the truth! He forgot our anniversary last week, which made me feel completely ignored and abandoned.”

Let’s take a moment to explore this idea in detail. Our reactions to feeling that we are “not valued and abandoned” are just our reactions. Maybe some people may not mind at all when they encounter the same situation. There may be a bit of anger, but there will be no feeling of being ignored or abandoned at all.

It is very likely that this feeling has been deeply rooted in our hearts long before we met our partner, but it has been detonated now. Most people suppress our feelings, maybe we are taught that emotions are a sign of weakness, or at least they can cause trouble.

However, when we work hard to suppress these feelings, we become an untimely moving bomb, like those mines that floated in the sea during World War II, until someone got too close and “boomed”. Be careful! When we are young and energetic, we can continue to hide these chaotic feelings, but as we get older, run out of energy, and lose patience, we become more irritable and capricious.

When something or someone presses your button and triggers your suppressed negative emotions, you have to withstand the temptation to blame and attack or withdraw. Recognize that these are your feelings, which may have existed in your heart for a long time. You even have to thank this person or situation for giving you the opportunity to touch this negative feeling of depression or withdrawal in the past.

Now, use the iceberg model to analyze yourself and heal this past feeling.

Secret Language Of Relationships
04
The reason you are angry is never the one you think

When our partners show certain behaviors, those behaviors make people crazy; or when they talk to us in an incredibly irritating tone, we will have strong negative emotional reactions and think that these emotions are related to the present Everything that happened is related.

Even time and time again, when someone in life shows the same behavior and our reaction is exactly the same, we still believe in it. This is a pattern, a cycle, we are destined to keep repeating until we completely close ourselves and let no one approach, or we recognize what our reaction is about, and take responsibility, and start to make changes from a deeper level.

When we are angry, only a small part of it is actually related to what is happening now, most of which are related to events long ago.

Think about it, what exactly does your partner do that will drive you crazy and disgust you? Let you enter this feeling, pay attention to these feelings, how do these feelings feel in your body? Take some time to pay attention, as if you are an X-ray mood scanner that can see through your body’s emotional response. Now think about it, did you really feel this feeling for the first time? When did you feel this way? Who are you really angry about?

Sit down, pick up your notebook if you want, and write down the answers to the questions above. What did you learn from it? Apart from being angry, how do you want to respond?

The core of every anger is a misunderstanding. We need to find the crux of the problem, and heal and transform here, rather than using our partners and family members as excuses. When we become anxious to get angry and make those early choices that created our belief system, we will only make the people we love now pay the price for our past mistakes. We are destined to repeat our patterns until we have the courage and face them honestly.

Secret Language Of Relationships
05
Control doesn’t work

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” Control won’t work, because sooner or later we have to go back to the emotion that we didn’t want to face in the beginning.

Control leads us into a struggle, like a relationship of power struggle. In quarrels, we may use anger to try to change our partners and their behavior. However, this is a strategy that is sure to fail. Ok! Even if you may not have thought that you will fail, at this time we are faced with a simple choice: Do you want to love or control? These are two completely different energies and absolutely cannot coexist. We must choose from them.

The opposite of control is trust. When we control others, we are basically saying: “I don’t trust myself to deal with the feelings that will come up next.” So, when we control, it means that we don’t trust ourselves and our abilities, and then we are right. He and the people around him also lost confidence.

Love and control cannot coexist. Remember when you loved the world? At that time, you could hardly concentrate on anything, even crossing the road and putting on clothes had difficulties, and love made you dizzy. There is no difficulty in not wearing clothes at all, and that is true because when you fall in love, control is no longer your specialty.

Secret Language Of Relationships
06
You can’t change anyone except yourself

Another manifestation of our control is an attempt to change our partner. As long as they are more or less, as long as they are more loving and considerate, and we are talking about ourselves, then we will be happy.

As we mentioned before, controlling others is not feasible. The true personal transformation always comes from an internal impact, rather than setting a bunch of external mandatory rules or requirements. Do you like to be called around and drunk, arbitrarily called? Your partner may follow your rules, but he has a lot of resentment towards you.

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” Self-help master Dr. Wayne Dyer once said: “When you change your view of things, what you see will also change.” The amazing thing is, When you change, usually your partner will also change.

Secret Language Of Relationships
07
All relationships are in the perfect balance

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” Every relationship has its balance, and in the deeper level of this balance, there is always a certain level of collusion. Of course, we will have some persistence, such as becoming an independent partner, then your partner has to become that emotionally dependent partner. Similarly, at the moment when a marriage breaks up, people will argue with each other about who is the “right” party.

In workshops, we often hear people say how bad their partners are, so they have to come to the workshop to find answers. Then, they are usually surprised at the first question we asked: “Why do you want this to happen?” Their first reaction is almost always: “I don’t want it at all!” However, this is just our expression. The thoughts of the conscious mind, the smallest part of us.

Assuming that you really want to know yourself, then you have to realize that if something happens between you and your partner, in fact, on a certain level, this is also your plan.

During the honeymoon period, the two people are attracted to each other in part because our fragments and their fragments are completely integrated. So, if you have a heartbreaking story about someone betraying you during your childhood and making you heartache, then they must also have a very similar story. Of course, the relationship may not be obvious at the beginning, but it will gradually come to the fore in later stages.

If both parties are not aware of this, then one of the partners will eventually do some betrayal, while the other will feel completely betrayed. The reason why this kind of situation is happening now is not to punish our past, but to give us an opportunity to heal the heartbreak that formed this pattern in the first place. Yes, the process will be painful, but if we want to move forward in life and move towards true happiness, we must face it bravely and solve the crux of the problem.

Assuming that the two parties are not aware of this, the relationship can easily be divided into the so-called polarization of the good guys and the bad guys. This antagonism in some relationships is very serious, so the relationship is short-lived. Even so, we also found that even if the relationship is polarized, some couples still get along for 20 years or even longer, living a life that is close to the living dead, because they never face those who are always eager to be healed. wound.

If you find yourself starting to criticize your partner in such a way, for example, “I can’t be so angry as him!” “I can’t be like him!” In this way, your relationship will begin to polarize.

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” Everything we see in our partner is equivalent to seeing ourselves. We all have both good and bad qualities, which is inevitable. When both of us take a close look at our relationship, we will understand that if we do not act first, our partner or anyone will not treat us in the same way.

In your relationship, are you a “good saint” role or a “bad aggression” role? If you notice this momentum, take some time to correct yourself and feel like you are back at the center. When you correct yourself and bring yourself back to the center, your relationship will soon return to balance.

Secret Language Of Relationships
08
The relationship is 100% of both parties’ contributions

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” This principle is usually one of the strongest people’s reactions. For most people in a culture of blame and compensation, they might even think that their 50% contribution in the relationship is a big stretch, but now they say they want 100% contribution? They can’t help asking: “You must be joking, right?”

When people insist that their relationship is a 50% to 50% fair deal, they have reason to blame the other party for not cooperating. We have heard many people complain about their partners: they lack sexual interest, withdraw, be aggressive, etc. However, when we discussed it in-depth, the truth soon became clear. It turns out that behind these judgments lie the complainer’s personal problems: fear of sex, fear of intimacy, and fear of his hidden aggression.

When we attack or blame our partner, we actually attack ourselves. They are just a mirror of us, remember? Unless we are willing to take more responsibility for ourselves, for our partners and their actions, we will remain stuck in the problem and unable to move.

Of course, your partner has his problems. We don’t think he is as white and flawless as snow, and at the same time, you are not to blame for everything that happened between you. We mean you are responsible for your life. You have the ability to respond appropriately. Ask yourself: “If my partner reflects my subconscious mind, what message should this convey to me? What should I learn from it? Why do I want this? “

Have you noticed that you or your friends tend to attract similar types of partners? Do you or they all experience the same problem all the time in the relationship? So, no matter how horrible you think your partner’s behavior is, you might as well ask yourself, why do you want to do this? Are there any topics for you to learn?

“Do you know secret language of relationships?” We would say that 100% of your efforts in relationships are just on the verge of passing! 130% of the effort will lead you to the road to happiness. Completely for myself, be responsible for your world and the people around you, and you will have real power. You will never encounter a training ground that is better than a promised relationship.

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— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

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