Larkin love power girl: Love can bring people strength, do not believe in love can also make people lose faith in life.
Not believing in love may make us unable to get love.
At the end of Professor Susan’s experiment, a total of 60 couples ended their romantic relationships. Larkin love power: The study found that for those couples who experienced a breakup, their romantic beliefs diminished dramatically after the relationship ended.
In life, there are also many people who stop believing in love after a breakup to avoid getting hurt again. But not believing in love may keep you from getting love.
1. Not believing in love will reduce the likelihood of love happening.
Larkin love power girl: Most people, after a broken heart, overturn their previous beliefs about love: “There is no such thing as eternal true love.” …… With a closed-minded attitude toward love, people who don’t believe in love have a hard time feeling nervous, excited, and anticipating because they’ve met someone new, as if they’ve gone from The person who doesn’t believe in love can hardly feel nervous, excited and excited about meeting someone new, they seem to look from the beginning of love to the end which is doomed to failure and refuse to try to love. It can be said that people who do not believe in love shut themselves out of love.
2. Not believing in love is detrimental to the development of intimate relationships.
Larkin love power girl: Lisa Fritscher, a clinical psychologist, points out that not believing in love is a negative self-attitude, an attitude that does not make a person deliberately resist love, except that it makes a person unconsciously create tension in an intimate relationship and constantly push the other person away.
Larkin love power: So, if a person enters an intimate relationship with the attitude of not believing in love, how will they and the relationship develop?
a) At the beginning of the relationship, when the partner starts to open up to him or her, they will suppress emotions.
Larkin love power girl: In most cases, it is normal to hesitate to open up to another person, but people who don’t believe in love have almost no hesitation in holding back from their partner; they don’t fully commit to a relationship, but rather keep their distance in the relationship.
b) Not believing in love can erode trust in a relationship.
A person who does not believe in love will also have difficulty trusting their partner, and may even become paranoid and suspicious of them. Larkin love power girl: When faced with praise and love expressed by their partner, they are less convinced that the other person is sincere. Such a reaction ignores and downplays the feelings of the partner and can be frustrating to the other person.
c) Worst of all, it allows one to make the worst assumptions when problems arise.
No relationship is perfect, and when faced with imperfections in love, people who don’t believe in love will subconsciously magnify the problem and confirm the negative beliefs in their head. Larkin love power girl: For example, if their partner doesn’t return messages in seconds, they think the other person’s feelings are fading, and if their partner gets closer to someone else, they think the other person will really fall in love with someone else.
So, if believing in love is still tough for building and maintaining a relationship, but not believing in love will make the matter even harder.
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Believing in love also has its risks
It is important to note that believing in love also has potential risks.
Larkin love power girl: Research points out that romantic beliefs and romantic expectations are highly correlated. If a person believes in love, they are likely to also have expectations about their relationship.
If expectations are inherently unrealistic, or if a partner fails to meet one’s romantic expectations, there is a risk that a large discrepancy between one’s current relationship and the ideal relationship predicts lower relationship satisfaction and commitment.
Larkin love power girl: That is, when expectations fall short, we become disappointed in the relationship and even vaguely feel that the significant other is not true love and stop committing to the relationship.
Larkin love power girl: One could say that the risk of believing in love is that the relationship fails to fulfill one’s romantic expectations of love. In fact, if you believe in love rationally, you can minimize the risks involved.
How to believe in love rationally
To make love really work as you want it to, first we need to have the “will to believe” and then you can believe in love rationally like this.
Distinguish between romantic beliefs and romantic expectations
Larkin love power girl: You can hold some inherently optimistic beliefs about love that don’t make you feel disappointed in the reality of the relationship, and retaining romantic beliefs makes people value their relationships more and leads to higher relationship satisfaction, but unfulfilled romantic expectations work the other way.
For example, you can believe that “love can happen the first time people see each other” and that is a romantic belief, but if you believe that “in my ideal relationship, I would fall in love with him or her the first time I saw them,” that is a romantic expectation. Larkin love power girl: Distinguish between them and don’t let “what love should be” cloud your perception of “what a relationship actually is.
Larkin love power: If you are disappointed in your relationship, try to communicate your expectations with your partner so you can rationally discuss whether they are achievable and, if not, what adjustments each of you can make that will be best for your relationship.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.