How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? What is projective identity? “Projective identity” in the theory of object relation means that the subject introduces all or part of himself into the object in order to harm, possess or control it. In a close relationship, it is often manifested as one person’s manipulation of another person.
Generally speaking, I project my own things to you, and induce and imply you to respond to me in the way I project to you. Projective identity is often a subconscious behavior that two people don’t know. If you are being controlled by the other party with projective identity, you are likely to be induced to make the result that the other party subconsciously wants to see. The other party’s accusations and complaints about you are actually to rationalize their own point of view – “you really think the same as I think.”. the following are the answer on how to tell if someone is projecting onto you.
4 ways on how to tell if someone is projecting onto you
1. How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? Full of dependence
Projectors usually show anxiety, lack of security and other behaviors in love. They often remember the bad things and feelings in the process of getting along with each other, and project their anxiety to each other, suggesting and inducing each other to do abandoned and irresponsible things.
In short, it is “too unreasonable”.
How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? When we are treated by others in the mode of dependency projection identification, we will feel that we are full of value at the beginning, because we are worshipped and dependent. But after a long time, I can’t help feeling tired and squeezed. In fact, the opposite party controls us in this way. If we are in this situation for a long time, until one day we can’t bear the burden, then the ideas projected by the other party will come true.
2. How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? Cater to each other unconditionally
There are two types of pandering projection identity to explain how to tell if someone is projecting onto you: 1. Active pandering: if you think I’m so good to you, you must give back to me, otherwise you just don’t love me; 2. Passive Catering: if you love me, you should do everything for me, otherwise you just don’t love me enough.
To be treated in a way that caters to the projection of identity, that feeling is probably like Eason Chan’s “what can’t be obtained is always in turmoil, and those who are preferred have no fear.”.
3. How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? Controlled by lust
How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? You should know that projectors are usually women. “I’m so beautiful and charming, so you have to be nice to me” is their psychological motivation. The projected object will feel sexually attracted and impulsive. However, if they really hit the Tao, they will be controlled by each other in a sexual way.
4. How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? Controlled by power
The projector is usually confident in his own ability and wants the other to do what he wants. If you read their psychological activities in paraphrase, it is: “I am so powerful, you have to listen to me in everything, otherwise you don’t love me.”.
How to tell if someone is projecting onto you? The projected object can’t help but feel that we are incompetent. We also feel that we are belittled and looked down upon from each other’s words and behaviors. It seems that the other party is omnipotent and can handle everything, so we have to give in to the other party’s obscene power. However, ordinary people do not realize the psychological motivation, they only complain that the other side is too strong and “control” is strong. Over time, the projected male will feel “weak” while the projected female will doubt self-worth.
The secret of any long-term relationship is to find beauty in imperfection. Two people together, not for who can control who, but two people rely on each other and support; We learn to grow up in love, at the same time, the branches and leaves depend on each other, this is the meaning of love.
It’s never easy to meet the right person. When you find that you have missed the one you once loved, you still have to be full of hope for her or him in the future. If you want to find anyone to listen to your sad stories, come to BothLive and meet your soul mate.
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