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How Depression Affects Relationships? 3 Steps Destroy You

How depression affects relationships?

How does depression affect relationships?

“Before I suffered from depression, I felt that I was a pretty good person, and the people around me liked me very much. Now I am full of doubts about everything in the past.” How does depression affect relationships with family and friends?

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How Depression Affects Relationships? 3 Steps Destroy You

How depression affects relationships?

How does depression affect relationships?

“Before I suffered from depression, I felt that I was a pretty good person, and the people around me liked me very much. Now I am full of doubts about everything in the past.” How does depression affect relationships with family and friends?

How depression affects relationships?

  • How depression affects relationships? – When we are depressed, we are afraid of failure and falling behind others.
  • How depression affects relationships? – Fear of being disapproved and unacceptable.
  • How depression affects relationships? – Fear of losing control of the surrounding things and being trapped in an unhappy environment.

 

Another important change about “How depression affects relationships” is that we feel strong doubts, fears, and pains about interpersonal relationships:

  • “Do friends really like me? Do they pretend to be friendly, but actually despise me in their hearts?”
  • “Do I really love my family? If so, why does being with them make me feel so uncomfortable?”

 

How can depression affect relationships?

Some negative basic concepts we hold, such as: I am not worthy of love, I am inferior to others, others are untrustworthy…etc. It is easy for us to experience a sense of failure and being caught in our interpersonal relationships. A sense of abandonment and loss.

At this time, even if we know some great truths and know what we “should” and “should” do, it may be of no avail.

 

“How can depression affect your relationship?” When we are depressed, our brains are very vague about the difference between “reality” and “imagination”. We may not be able to tell whether reality really has what we think So bad? Even if we know rationally that things are developing for the better, it is difficult for us to really believe it.

This sensitivity and bias to negative information are not because we are stupid, but because depression changes the way our brains work. A certain type of event in interpersonal relationships will bring us into a defensive and irrational state under our strong sense of threat.

This state will destroy our interpersonal network through the following “trilogy”, leaving us alone in pain, deeper and deeper.

How depression affects relationships?
“Trilogy”

How depression affects relationships?
Step 1: “I have no emotional needs”

Humans are social animals and need mutual care, care, and emotional support.

Under normal circumstances, when we feel down, sad, or upset, if we can get encouragement and comfort from others, and embrace and touch by people close to us, we will feel relaxed and calm.

However, if we choose to suppress our emotional needs for a long time, and feel that we are an emotional machine, we cannot figure out when we should ask others for help.

“How does depression affect relationships?”

When we feel that “everything has to be solved by ourselves” and we really cannot do it, it is easy to fall into a state of depression, and the things that prevent us from asking for help may be the following thoughts:

“I am a burden to others and will only cause others trouble”

“No one really cares about me, I will always be alone”

“Needing others is selfish, naive, sad, and incompetent”

 

In fact, understanding and accepting your own emotional needs, expressing them in communication, and getting help from others are extremely important to your mental health. The obstacles in this process, in addition to the repression of our own emotional needs, there are also some of our prejudices against others.

 

How depression affects relationships?
Step 2: “Others won’t help me, nor can they help me”

When we are in a state of depression, we may not be able to communicate well with others so that others can understand our current situation;

And the people around us have a biased or shallow understanding of depression. Even if we clearly express and send out a signal for help, most of the time, even if they understand it, they may be helpless.

 

When this happens many times, we may develop the following concepts:

“Others are very busy, no time or obligation to help me”

“Others can’t understand me”

“If I trouble others all the time, they will feel bothered and bored”

 

The need for others is part of our instinct. Even when we feel that there is no way to get help from others, we still want to keep them around by some means…

How depression affects relationships?
Step 3: “Let me help you?”

When we believe that we cannot get help from others, we may turn to project our own needs onto others and consider the needs of others. At this time, the thoughts we may have are:

“I have to work hard before they will be willing to make friends with me”

“Self-sacrifice is a virtue”

“If you want others to treat me well, you must first work harder.”

 

How depression affects relationships?

No matter how to beautify the behavior of self-sacrifice, we will feel uncomfortable in our hearts when giving and gaining are not balanced. If you look at your behavior honestly, you will find that we may intentionally or unintentionally act as a “good person with no needs” in order to gain the appreciation and needs of others and make ourselves feel better.

However, when we find that our efforts have not brought the expected return, we may feel that others have deceived and used ourselves, and thus may have a desperate sense of distrust for everyone. When the brain is filled with despair, we are completely pushed into the abyss of depression.

 

People who fall into depression may try to conceal their depression at first, but it is difficult to conceal the influence of depression on interpersonal relationships:

We may become indifferent, boring, slow to react, lose our temper easily, often refuse to avoid others, acrimonious, and aggressive.

 

How depression affects relationships?

In fact, these are common reactions to depression. The reason for these reactions may be that we have conflicts in our hearts that we cannot face and deal with, or we may hide resentment towards others and powerlessness in our hearts. The anger of changing the status quo. In short, suffering from depression does not mean that you are a bad person. If you want, you can temporarily put aside the thoughts of self-blame, try to think about how to make some changes to the status quo, and seek the help of a professional psychological counselor.

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— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

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