But in close relationships based on trust, Dishonesty in relationships seems to have become the norm. Can you tolerate the existence of Dishonesty in relationships in love?
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Has your partner ever had a Dishonesty in relationships with you? Studies have shown that, on average, 10% of the interactions between partners are deceptive. Some of the Dishonesty in relationships are carefully planned before they are spoken out, and some may be just blurted out without even the people who show Dishonesty in relationships realize.
As many as 92% of people admit that they have had Dishonesty in relationships with their partner. In fact, you can think about it. It is very difficult to not lie to each other in everything in life. The rate of Dishonesty in relationships is so high, partly because we in relationships may deceive and conceal in various places. Consequences of lying in a relationship can also affect the relationship.
For example, when you first fall in love with a person, many people will exaggerate their strengths and conceal their shortcomings through Dishonesty in relationships, such as falsely reporting their height. Boys with 168 will be counted as 170, and boys who say that they are just 175 have a high probability of not reaching 175. Every time they see the other person blushing and arguing that their net height is definitely 175, they will think that telling this kind of little lies is quite pretty Lovely. And when the relationship is more mature and stable, Dishonesty in relationships is also very common. For example, when the other party asks about his ex, he will unwillingly emphasize that the ex is really ugly and not at all comparable to you! Dishonesty in relationships is very common in every stage of intimacy. But fortunately, not all Dishonesty in relationships are heartbreaking. At some point, they actually help our feelings. For example, you and your partner went to see a movie starring you Idol. After the show, you were very excited to say that idol is so handsome.
But unfortunately, the other party dislikes the starring role very much. At this time, if he has a mentality of “it’s just a small thing, it’s better to make you happy”, he chooses Dishonesty in relationships: “I also think he is pretty good.” We will feel that this person is really high in emotional intelligence. But if he said: “His face is stiff, you actually like him? How can he act?”, this kind of frankness will be really disappointing.
Of course, whether Dishonesty in relationships is constructive in an intimate relationship is related to the motivation of Dishonesty in relationships to a certain extent. In the communication between ordinary people, only about a quarter of Dishonesty in relationships is to avoid the truth from hurting the feelings or interests of others.
This means that most of the Dishonesty in relationships is for oneself, such as avoiding embarrassment, feeling guilt, inconvenience, seeking approval or material gains. In an intimate relationship, people’s self-interested Dishonesty in relationships will decrease, and more Dishonesty in relationships are out of consideration for both parties.
Therefore, what we are discussing here does not include the type of Dishonesty in relationships related to betrayal. Then, when the lover appears Dishonesty in relationships and it is not simply fighting for their own interests, what kind of motive might be the Dishonest boyfriend? How to deal with dishonesty in a relationship?
1. The purpose of Dishonesty in relationships-avoid conflict
For example, when you ask about your lover’s ex, Ta may lie and say that my ex is really ugly and has no connotation at all. I think I was blind at the beginning! Some people even conceal the fact that they have an ex. When people tell this kind of lies, they are probably out of caring about the other party-they don’t want you to lose their sense of security, considering that confession may cause suspicion and conflict, and they don’t want your feelings to be damaged by things that are already irrelevant.
Just like this example of lying because you care about the other person’s feelings, there are a lot of Dishonesty in relationships in an intimate relationship, just to avoid possible conflicts and maintain the relationship between the two.
2. The purpose of Dishonesty in relationships-to increase attractiveness
This may be concealing something. For example, for example of dishonesty in a relationship, you put on a full makeup and are super beautiful, and you go out and say to the other party: “I didn’t do much makeup today”, “Oh, I’m too anxious. I went out after I dressed up”; or falsely reported certain things, such as: “I keep exercising every week, and now I have eight abdominal muscles”, “I always fight two buckets of water on the sixth floor with one breath every time, without stopping. Come down to gasp”.
Dishonesty in relationships like this is actually just to increase the attractiveness of oneself in the eyes of the other party, with the intention of further development of the relationship.
3. The purpose of Dishonesty in relationships-to think that you have not met the expectations of the other party
In an intimate relationship, we all want to be recognized by each other. But when the facts do not satisfy the other party, or just think that the other party will not be satisfied, relying on Dishonesty in relationships to conceal these facts has become a common method.
In this case, people who are Dishonesty in relationships often feel that their behavior does not meet the expectations of their partners and cannot be accepted by the other party. Even, they will feel guilty for their actions. So they adopt the method of Dishonesty in relationships to create a “fact” that can be accepted by the other party.
It is inevitable that the partners of Dishonesty in relationships, many times are working hard to maintain each other’s feelings. Out of these positive motives, the influence of this kind of Dishonesty in relationships in love is no longer entirely the effects of dishonesty in a relationship. Sometimes Dishonesty in relationships strengthens our feelings.
2. Sometimes Dishonesty in relationships is consolidating our feelings.
1. Keep love fresh
In order to increase the attractiveness of your partner, conceal some trivial things that are detrimental to your image but are actually insignificant, or over-exaggerate your original strengths. These Dishonesty in relationships are harmless, but make the appearance of love more beautiful and vivid.
2. Maintain personal boundaries
Studies have found that at different stages of relationship development, people need to maintain different psychological distances and different degrees of self-disclosure. Intimate partners are more exposed to each other, but they can’t be completely honest with each other and have no privacy.
At some levels, Dishonesty in relationships can help us control the degree of self-exposure and maintain a healthy distance. In order to protect oneself and the other party, the personal boundaries established by the two parties will not be destroyed, leaving their own private territory, and protecting one’s own material, body, and spirit from being violated by the other party.