Compromise In A Relationship: Do women always compromise in a relationship? Why do you repeatedly “compromise” in your intimate relationship? How should we be girls in the new era?
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Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Girls In The New Era
Do women always compromise in a relationship? Why do you repeatedly “compromise” in your intimate relationship? How should we be girls in the new era?
In a relationship you have to compromise? No, sometimes it is an unhealthy compromise.
Compromise in a relationship is a rule you two have to know, not only you.
What is the importance of relationships and compromise? compromise relationship meaning love and fear. Both. Some things to compromise on in a relationship, but is not mean you have to compromise in marriage which is wrong.
Compromise In A Relationship
The growth of women has always been a topic that I personally have been very concerned about since the beginning of my undergraduate degree.
Through many years of observation, I have noticed that many women face a unique dilemma when they grow up in this society, that is, there is always a variety of questioning voices accompanying them, and it seems that no matter what they do, they will be met by a certain kind of society. negative. How women walk a path to happiness has become a question with no definite answer. Women Always Compromise In A Relationship?
• This experience started from childhood: I learned well when I was young, and the teacher said that girls would not be as good as boys because of their lack of stamina.
• When you grow up, if you are pretty, you will be questioned whether it is superficial, definitely not smart, and has a high probability of worshipping money. If you look ugly, you have to face even more denials and doubts.
• If you are thin, you will be said to be too thin and not good for nurturing; if you are fat, you will even be questioned about moral issues-what can you do if you don’t have self-discipline and don’t even control your own body?
• If you have a good degree, you will be questioned. How can you find someone with such a good degree? If you have poor academic qualifications, you will be said to be so poor in school that you must not be smart or mixed in society. What if boys are poor in school? Boys are different, they just don’t like to read, they are smart.
• If you earn a lot, you will be questioned about the failure of your marriage; if you earn less, you will be questioned about your lack of independence. Finding a man is just trying to make money.
• If you get married early, you will be questioned and you haven’t figured out what you want to do; if you get married late, you will be questioned if you can’t get married and no one wants to get married.
On the contrary, men will be affirmed regardless of their good grades or bad grades, “just grow up”, “boys are smart”; their body and appearance will not be too strict requirements and evaluation; Early marriage and late marriage will be praised; as long as you develop towards higher social achievements, you will surely get more recognition.
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Let us simply imagine what kind of woman we have to become in order to find a little breathing space in these various and demanding standards, avoid all stigma, and think of ourselves Enjoy happiness with confidence?
A woman once said to me like this: I hope I do my best in all aspects. I want to learn the best in the best school; I want to go to the best company for the internship; I want to have excellent housework skills; I want to cook for my boyfriend and keep the house in order after studying and internship; I also want Exercise and diet to maintain the best figure; skincare products are also necessary to maintain yourself from aging. I want to be exquisite, beautiful, practical, and virtuous at the same time. But I’m really too busy and tired. I always have missed aspects. This kind of self really makes me unsatisfied.
At that time, I was shocked, only to realize that in women’s hearts, the threshold of happiness was so high. If you live by this standard, most women will lose to their strict standards. This may explain why so many women always feel the emotion of being a loser at such and other times, like a certain shadow that is always entangled and never completely retreated.
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? The life of a woman who has been questioned and followed brings stricter self-standards and self-loathing because of not meeting this standard. At the same time, it also brings great confusion to women: once some kind of dilemma occurs in their lives, they will start to self-reflection on “Is I a good enough woman”, and the standard of “good enough woman” is So high and unreachable, full of too many contradictory standards, it has become almost impossible.
In the harshness and confusion, women have formed universal low self-esteem: they often doubt their value, whether they are worthy of being loved, whether there is something wrong with them so that they cannot be loved; they often feel doubt or deny themselves; they often tell themselves that they have Many things are impossible or impossible.
Compromise In A Relationship
Women’s situation is not overnight, so our parents have already dealt with such a predicament, and they have summed up their generation’s strategy to deal with this predicament.
If you sum up this strategy in one sentence, it is probably: Women should try their best to maintain moderation. “Catering to a standard that can’t go wrong” is their choice. Regardless of appearance, school work, or career, you should neither fall behind nor be too aggressive. Get married and have children at the “right” age to maintain a good balance between the workplace and the family. This is the life of a “decent” woman. Furthermore, it is a woman’s feat to become her husband and children. Maintaining the golden mean, sacrificing oneself, and accomplishing others are the past successful experiences of women.
But obviously, such a strategy is destined to not lead women to freedom and full bloom. This generation of women already knows to fight against this strategy, but it is still difficult to find effective new strategies.
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Women already know how to deny and criticize this strategy, but when they are frustrated in reality (not getting enough satisfactory intimacy, or trapped in insufficient intimacy, etc.), they doubt themselves Does his frustration stem from failing to comply with the experience summed up by the predecessors?
We lack enough female models who are happy with new strategies. We are still on the way and no one has arrived.
The doubts from the outside world are so noisy, it is much easier to choose a path with known risks than to firmly embrace the unknown in the voice of doubt.
There are so many ways in this society that women are nailed to the pillar of shame, so that too many people choose to compromise for things that are not good enough, but not too bad, in order to avoid the worst result. Compromise is another important experience in a woman’s life.
This is related to women’s moral values. Gilligan explored this in-depth in her famous feminist work “Different Voices.” When men are answering what morality is, they think more about the inviolability of the rights of others (in order to protect their rights from being violated) and self-realization; while women think of responsibility, which is their own. The realization of multiple responsibilities. Therefore, women’s moral values are often self-critical rather than self-assertive (Gilligan, 1993).
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Put this in your daily life to understand this passage. We can see that women look for responsibilities in themselves more than men, and even tend to look for responsibilities in themselves too much. They often check whether their actions have harmed others. Because they firmly believe that they are as responsible to others as they are to themselves, they repeatedly compromise on judgments of right and wrong in close relationships.
The reason why emotions easily lead to the decline of women’s judgment is that emotions make women feel more responsible for each other, and thus fall into a deeper dilemma in the choice between defending each other and defending themselves.
The result is a compromise, repeated and endless compromises.
In fact, we need to realize that if there is no answer to a question, it may only mean that it is a wrong question.
Compromise In A Relationship
Under such circumstances, in order to achieve personal happiness, to gain freedom and bloom, what changes should the new generation of women make?
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Gilligan mentioned that many women live for a kind of “unanimity”. They “like” to reach a consensus with the outside world. Easy to agree and agree (Gilligan, 1993). Even women who are highly educated and successful in their careers will try their best to pretend to be dumb and sweet at some point.
Behind this kind of catering is a kind of “vulnerability” of women about themselves, which prevents them from showing their position.
Women are extremely easy to be isolated and stigmatized. The most common punishment adopted by society for people who do not conform to its own rules is expulsion. Women’s sense of self-worth is largely dependent on relationships. It is in relationships that women realize who they are, and the harm that expulsion brings to women is tantamount to destruction. The unanimous opinion is where women’s protection and dependence lie.
But consensus has also become the biggest constraint for women because they have so many opinions about us.
In this situation, if you want to break through the many difficulties that society has set for women, and walk out of their path of happiness, women must bravely take the step of change: stop catering. They must learn to choose their positions and firm their positions. In addition, they have to practice making choices and practice accepting the responsibilities of making choices.
Before that, the first thing they need to do is to adjust their views about themselves and improve their sense of self-esteem.
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? Choosing a position and making a choice also means taking responsibility for themselves. Women have long distrusted their ability to assume responsibility in the long-term questioned growth experience. They cater to them because of the childlike vulnerability brought to them by dependence and the fear of the consequences of being abandoned. They hope that by catering to them, they can be taken care of and loved.
A woman who has the ability to adopt new strategies to deal with difficulties is, first of all, a person with a sense of self-worth, because she must believe that she has the possibility of “making the right choices and things” and can see that she will still be The possibility of social acceptance.
Women need to change the way they measure their self-worth: from putting themselves in the various social standards of women’s measurement, to “whether they have the ability to choose what is really good for them”, “I will not be for the immediate benefit.” Betray oneself”, “Will I let myself do things that I obviously don’t want to do” come up. Here, we changed the way of asking questions.
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? A woman once said: “In the past, I would feel selfish and guilty because I did what I wanted to do. Until one day I suddenly realized that this is a common human way of living. Just because of your feelings and desires to do one thing, value your own needs, (maybe not for others, but) for yourself is enough reason to do this. Love me People who want to support me should support this right and not create obstacles to it” (Gilligan, 1993).
The sense of confidence that can be brought about by “just because I want to” in her story is common among men, but not among women.
Compromise In A Relationship
Here is some “Compromise In A Relationship” tips for this generation of women for discussion:
• To be a woman in this era, you have to be able to realize that you have the ability to make choices for yourself, and have the ability to bear the consequences and responsibilities for your choices. You don’t need to be attached, so you have complete freedom of choice. Don’t be afraid to burden your own life, because you are fully capable of dealing with it.
• You have to realize that your value does not come from the recognition of various voices in the society, you do not need to cater to their standards, your value comes from the ability to understand your own needs and insist on finding what you really need.
• You need to truly understand, you just need to exist to be worthy of being loved. The voice of this society may represent some mainstream “like” standards, but in fact, you don’t need many people to like you. In love, you only need one person to like you. In such a big world, people who like you must exist. You don’t need to tolerate people and things that know you are hurting you in order to be “liked”.
• You need to be able to feel angry. You can begin to naturally feel intolerant of words and actions that degrade your value and become angry. Anger will keep you away from these people or fight against them. Anger helps you defend your interests.
• You have to choose your position and believe that the world should allow multiple positions to exist at the same time. Your position is just like the positions of others. You have the right to exist properly. You are worthy of your position, because only in this way can you Attract those who are truly attracted to “you”.
• There should be more women who are willing to stand up and become women’s role models.
Compromise In A Relationship
Women Always Compromise In A Relationship? We are still on the way, no one has arrived. Across the hills, it is still unknown whether anyone is waiting. Everything we do at the moment is closer to faith. I chose to be a woman whom I recognize and also a person who can make me proud. And by making this choice and willing to bear the consequences of this choice, it is the way and the way I became such a person.
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— About The Writer —
I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:
1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up
2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology
3. Sex Science