Do you need personalized advice about Boundary violations in relationships? “Border.” This word leaves icicles in the hearts of lovers. Someone tells us that Boundary violations in relationships should be an unhindered broad field, where unicorns and fairies use sugar and instant trust to create a gorgeous tapestry of our love. Frankly speaking, the more unconstrained space, the more likely we are to trip and fall on our faces.
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Boundaries are indispensable, and any statement about them cannot be changed. Therefore, Boundary violations in relationships are also particularly important. You should consider setting the following 12 Boundary violations in relationships.
1. Set Boundary violations in relationships-general expectations
First, you should always discuss what you expect of someone and what you expect to get. Many people enter interpersonal relationships and transfer their recovery/completion burden to others. This is one of Boundary violations in relationships. We are us, we are real, and we have needs; if someone puts us on the pedestal, it is easy for others to ignore these needs. A relationship should be a balance between giving and gain, not until others have no money left to contribute. Make sure to discuss the extent to which you are willing to be someone’s “achievement” and how you want to be satisfied.
2. Set Boundary violations in relationships-tolerance
Everyone has a different physical pain threshold. The same is true of emotions. Let a loved one know that there are certain things that you cannot tolerate: being yelled, lied, silenced or distrusted-whatever it is, show that going beyond these boundaries is a journey they may not want to take. It shows that Boundary violations in relationships are very important.
3. Set Boundary violations in relationships-Sexual expression
Some people like to have sex every morning. Some people like to be in unfamiliar places. Some only do this during holidays. Some are wild, some are slow and emotional. If you and your lover do not know where your Boundary violations in relationships are, then one or both of you may spend precious time unpleasantly forging sexual expressions, which clearly shows the troubles of any relationship.
4. Set Boundary violations in relationships-Finance
Money is generally considered something harmful to the heart, but money (for better or worse, usually worse) is an inevitable part of human interaction, whether you are with someone or not. This is not a question of distrust, nor an expectation of a failed relationship; it is a question of convenience. Discuss your Boundary violations in relationships regarding finance as early as possible to avoid troublesome entanglements in the future.
5. Set Boundary violations in relationships-past life
In short, your past is yours. Many people mistakenly believe that it is their right or obligation to dismantle the lover’s past, and therefore everything related to the lover is exposed as a part of inspection. In any relationship, communication is the key, communicate your Boundary violations in relationships. But relationships are not the therapist’s couch. Unless and until you feel comfortable, you are not obligated to make yourself a public book.
6. Set Boundary violations in relationships-Family
Relationships often exist in the eyes of “hurricane families”, which does not necessarily mean terrible family interactions, but just the needs of the two families will continue to linger on the edge of your relationship. Setting basic boundaries on the impact of family interactions with each other will prevent the recovery of many emergencies in the future.
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7. Set Boundary violations in relationships-friendship
Your lover will never like all your friends, nor will they like your friends, but this does not stop many people from trying to determine who can and cannot be friends with. Set Boundary violations in relationships so that the other party can reasonably decide whether to allow who to influence them, and then who is allowed to influence the relationship.
8. Set Boundary violations in relationships-goals that cannot be touched
No one tells us that our dreams are worthless, even if they think it is in our best interest to do so. Set boundaries: this is what I want/do; support is allowed, destruction is not allowed.
9. Set Boundary violations in relationships that cannot be touched-Added
Are you willing to bring your child into a relationship? pet? These are usually the difficult and fast boundaries that everyone brings to interpersonal relationships, but they are reluctant to raise them unless absolutely necessary. Adding to the relationship department is a big deal and should not be left to chance. Discuss who and what you are willing to allow into the relationship beyond the boundaries.
10. Set Boundary violations in relationships-subtraction
Break up. As with tolerance, if things cannot be resolved, discussing what we will do and what we will not do as soon as possible may alleviate the final pain and drama. This may include a cooling-off period, a second chance, life arrangements, all the way to the option of “Let friends stay… it’s good.” No matter what it is, if a loved one knows where we stand, we can both end the relationship in a quieter and less noisy manner.
11. Set Boundary violations in relationships-time
Time is limited even between lovers. All these Boundary violations in relationships are what lovers need to know and want to know so that you two feel comfortable not only on your own skin, but also around each other.
12. Set Boundary violations in relationships-number exists
In the age of iPhone and social media, it is necessary to discuss how much your lover has access to your digital display. Communication apps, tracking apps, calendar apps: Facebook friends (and friends of friends): all of these are realms full of boundaries. Love may not last forever, but although social media will not last forever, it is difficult to unravel.
02. How to set Boundary violations in relationships
1. Know the boundaries
Maybe you found inspiration on it and have an idea of the boundaries to be set. But even so, it’s worth taking the time to really determine where you are on the series of issues you’re talking about and think about other boundaries that partners must follow. Only when you know your boundaries can you communicate them to your partner.
2. Choose when to discuss
In a relationship, there are certain things that need to be discussed early because they may play an important role in the well-being of you and your partner and the overall health of your union. When you feel it’s time to discuss a particular boundary, make sure you do the same when you are not distracted, when you are both relaxed and open to each other.
3. Make them clear
If you want your partner to abide by your own boundaries, you must make the boundaries clear and understandable. If these things are really important to you, then there is no room for ambiguity and gray areas. Ask your partner to repeat what they think your boundaries are. This will make you sure they understand. When expressing boundaries, please use “I” sentences instead of “you” sentences.
I’m Chloe, I am an emotional counselor.