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Feeling Worthless: “Always Feel Like A Trash”

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

“Always feel like a trash”: How did low self-esteem ruin you?

Do you have such a kind of confusion: Some people are not excellent but still feel good about themselves, but they are comparable to their ability, or even better, but often feel that they are of no value?

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Feeling Worthless: “Always Feel Like A Trash”

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

“Always feel like a trash”: How did low self-esteem ruin you?

Do you have such a kind of confusion: Some people are not excellent but still feel good about themselves, but they are comparable to their ability, or even better, but often feel that they are of no value?

  • “I feel worthless. My life is worthless.”
  • “I feel worthless. Everything feels pointless.”
  • “Feeling worthless in a relationship… What’s wrong with me? I am worthless, right?”
  • “Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

In our daily life, there are many similar situations: A has no skills, but can calmly “make a promise” in front of the interviewer, and then “tutorial” homework to cope with the work afterward; B just encountered a job task failure, But still confidently and calmly continued to try the next time, as if he would never feel that he was useless or doubt his value.

This is really enviable. How can we also have such a strong sense of high self-worth?

Feeling Worthless
1. The essence of self-help to enhance the sense of value is to enhance self-esteem

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?” If you search for a certain level of “how to improve your sense of self-worth”, or even some books, you may be told “more friends will praise your friends” and “more success”. But success or failure and making friends are all opportunities. Sometimes it is not our own decision. What should we do to be self-reliant and improve our self-worth?

Let’s do a little test about self-esteem (Feeling Worthless Quiz):

Please use four labels to evaluate yourself:

A strongly agrees; B agrees; C disagrees; D strongly disagrees.

① I consider myself a valuable person, at least on par with others.

② I think I have many advantages.

③ In general, I tend to think of myself as a loser.

④ I can do things as well as most people.

⑤ I think I have a lot to be proud of.

⑥ I have a positive attitude towards myself.

⑦ On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.

⑧ I don’t think: It’s fine if I can afford to see myself.

⑨ I rarely feel that I am very useless.

⑩ I sometimes think that I am useless.

The result shows: The more C and D are selected, the lower the self-esteem.

With keen self-awareness, we may already vaguely feel that we are “low self-esteem”. Self-esteem is like the father of self-worth, which always affects the sense of self-worth.

Psychologists Brown and Dutton discovered in the early 21st century that when facing success, people with low self-esteem and people with high self-esteem have a similar sense of self-worth; but when facing the same failure, people with low self-esteem have a Lower sense of self-worth.

 

Feeling Worthless
2. Self-help book to enhance self-worth

Feeling Worthless
(1) Pay more attention to your advantages

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?” Why do we feel like waste in the face of failure?

To clarify this problem, the researchers had a whim to do an interesting experiment. They divided the volunteers into high self-esteem and low self-esteem, told them that the test was bad, and then asked them to describe their social skills. It turns out that people with high self-esteem rate their social skills much better.

Then the researchers used the volunteer activities to “seduce” them. Compared with low self-esteem, the high self-esteem quickly let go of the task at hand to ease the pain of failure.

The mystery of high self-esteem is solved! It is their focus on their strengths and some coping strategies that make them feel better, which makes them have a higher sense of self-worth.

If we encounter difficulties in the future, we might as well learn from high self-esteem and be a “narcissistic” person: “I failed this time, so what? I have many other advantages!”

Feeling Worthless
(2) Focus on the areas you value

I want to ask you a few questions first:

If you love sociology, do you feel worthless because you don’t understand astronautics that you’re not interested in?

Do you, who pay attention to work, feel that you are worthless because of an occasional cleaning mistake?

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

The field we value determines our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It (the field that we value) has a professional name-“self-worth combination”.

In today’s society, we are held hostage by consumerism, facial anxiety, etc. The outside world tries to use anxiety to urge us to do what they want us to do. We must learn to interfere, listen to our voices, do things that make us feel valuable, and keep our sense of self-worth in our own hands: “No, this is not important to me, it will not make me feel Value. People don’t have a sense of value if they are perfect everywhere.”

Feeling Worthless
(3) Abandon uncontrollable value evaluation standards

A friend said that she feels that her combination of self-worth lies in others, and the evaluation of others is where her sense of value lies: “I feel that my sense of self-worth is sometimes like a roller coaster. It’s okay when others praise me, and others criticize me. When I fell into hell.”

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

You have to learn to eliminate uncontrollable factors, which can improve and stabilize our sense of self-worth: “This field will make my sense of self-worth ride a roller coaster, and I should try to eliminate it.”

Whether it is the evaluation of others, success, or appearance, these are beyond our control, because we cannot guarantee that we will always be accepted by others, maintain our beauty, or win in the competition.

Psychologists such as Crocker pointed out that incorporating these uncontrollable factors into our self-worth combination will make our sense of self-worth fluctuate and make us more prone to anxiety and depression.

Feeling Worthless
(4) Learn to find outside causes

Studies have found that people with low self-worth are often kind and even soft-hearted: they always like to find reasons for themselves and help others to find reasons for their mistakes. People with high self-worth will look at the problem more objectively: this matter is not the responsibility of my inadequacy, or it is not my responsibility alone.

Weiner’s attribution theory found that people who attribute failure to their abilities are more likely to reduce their self-worth.

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

You have to learn to look at problems objectively, and it may be a little difficult for us who have been advocated to find our reasons all year round. But you might as well ask someone you trust about the reason for this failure, or conduct a “brainstorming”: No matter right or wrong, quickly write down other possible reasons on the paper, and then rate the possibility of failure caused by the former and your ability. .

After objectively analyzing the reasons, maybe we can confidently say: “This is not a problem of my ability, there are other reasons.”

Feeling Worthless
3. Conclusion

“Are you always Feeling Worthless?”

Please tell yourself every day: “Yes, I am important. Each of us should have the courage to say this. Our status may be low, our status may be small, but this does not mean that we are not important. Important is not synonymous with greatness, it is the promise of the soul to life.”

I wish everyone can smile and say: “I am valuable.”

 

“Feeling Worthless”

References:

Burger, JerryM.Personality /-7th ed[M].

Brown, Dutton JD, Keith A. The thrill of victory, the complexity of defeat: Self-esteem and people’s emotional reactions to success and failure.[J]. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1995.

Brown J D ,Smart S A. The Self and Social Conduct[J]. Journal of Personality and SocialPsychology, 1991, 60(3):368-375.

Crocker J, ParkL E. The costly pursuit of self-esteem.[J]. Psychological Bulletin, 2004,130(3):392-414.

Di, Paula, AdamCampbell, et al. Self-esteemand persistence in the face of failure.[J]. Journal of Personality & SocialPsychology, 2002.

Hou Yubo. Social Psychology. Third Edition[M]. Peking University Press, 2013.

Bi Shumin. I am important[M]. Lijiang Publishing House, 2013.

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