What are men and divorce emotional stages?
Ancient Greece: The cult of Platonic love, expressed as a non-sexual adoration between two males.
In Ancient Egypt: People of royal blood usually married their kinsmen.
In ancient Rome: the purpose of marriage was to have children, make allies and establish blood ties. Couples were supposed to become friends and live together in harmony.
Middle Ages: Marriage was interconnected with politics and property, and romance and passion were seen as a “sinister door to hell” and intolerable between spouses.
500 years after the Middle Ages: Romantic, passionate love began to be considered worth having.
Love was destined to be destroyed
Love had little to do with marriage
Love is a noble spiritual pursuit
Love is a madness
Love and marriage go hand in hand
The most perfect love happens between people of the same sex
Love can be happy and beautiful.
Four stages of marriage.
1. Halo stage
Every love begins in a halo state .
“The moon itself has no light, but in our eyes, it has light and is so soft and surrounded by a circle of light.
It’s like the state we are in when we fall in love, as if the other person is our Chosen One, and as long as we are with him, we will be happy and joyful forever.”
Men and divorce emotional stages: For each other, there is a feeling of finding true love, each other deeply and fearlessly for each other, mutual understanding and tolerance, saying all kinds of “think of you, love you, protect you, care for you, spoil you” and so on warm words, and finally fall in love, entrusted for life.
Emotional stages of divorce for a man: The first feelings are always very sweet, even the air is emitting a hint of sweetness, but the sweet love can not always stay at this stage.
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2. Disillusionment stage
Soon each other’s shortcomings are exposed and we enter the disillusionment stage.
Men and divorce emotional stages: Generally speaking, disillusionment comes when our needs are not met and our plans to rehabilitate our partner are not working.
Anger is the beginning of disillusionment.
“I’m so tired at work, and he won’t even help me mop the floor?”
“Why doesn’t he pick me up after work?”
“Why is there no answer on the phone?”
“Why is there no gift for my birthday?”
“After being together for so long, you still don’t know me?”
Men and divorce emotional stages: On the surface, it often seems that the two parties in an argument are on opposite sides, but the truth is that all arguments originate from a mutual pain. As long as we can perceive each other’s problems, we can turn arguments into understanding.
We can only be happy if we put aside our own positions, approach each other, and sincerely hope to communicate well.
Men and divorce emotional stages: Avoiding pain and not wanting to face it will only prolong the trials and tribulations we suffer. Many people tend to run away, struggle, get angry or overreact when faced with pain, thus making it worse.
Emotional stages of divorce for a man: If we can face pain openly and not resist it, then it is transformed into a gift that allows us to be more confident, to believe in ourselves, and to come closer to the freedom of our soul.
3. Introspective stage
Men and divorce emotional stages: We begin to see ourselves in the prison of victimhood and see ourselves switching freely between the three roles of victim, rescuer, and persecutor.
Victim: “I have given so much to you, why are you still doing this to me and failing me.”
When you appear in the victim role, you will blame others for all your unhappiness and unhappiness, you will feel especially miserable, and when your feelings are miserable, you will feel that everything is someone else’s fault.
Persecutor: “So you have to listen to me, you must …… “
Men and divorce emotional stages: The persecutor character either persecutes others or persecutes himself. When persecuting others, he rushes at the other person to constantly lose his temper, exerting pressure with anger, and persecutes himself when he finds no one to inflict harm on.
Savior: “Here’s the deal, I’ll help you …….”
Men and divorce emotional stages: When the state of the rescuer is reached, many families kind of problems between couples no longer seem to be very important, the spouses stare at their children every day and say, “We have become like this, you can not become like us in the future. In the future you must… …” , at this time when both spouses are acting as saviors, the child becomes a persecutor!
When these problems arise in the introspection stage, how do we solve them?
Men and divorce emotional stages: A good way to deal with it is to say what you feel in your heart and try not to hold back or resist. In addition to stating the origin of the emotion, it is also important to state the intensity of the emotion, its composition, and the effects it causes, but be careful not to indulge the emotion in the process.
4. The stage of revelation
Emotional stages of divorce for a man: The stage of revelation is a stage we may reach after experiencing lunacy, disillusionment, and introspection. It is a higher state we reach after breaking through the shackles and barriers, a state where we are able to know ourselves more truly, see our true needs and limitations, and have the opportunity to hear our true inner voice.
Men and divorce emotional stages: When we feel generally secure, i.e., comfortable with intimacy and able to rely on each other without hesitation, we are better at seeking support and better able to give it to each other.
If we feel secure in our connection with our partner, it is easier to cope with hurt in conflict and less malicious when we are angry with them.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.