Win Lose Or Love

Win Lose Or Love, Which You Choose?

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose? In love, men like to be reasonable, women like to talk about feelings. In many cases, don’t just look for right or wrong, but the way of dealing.

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Win Lose Or Love, Which You Choose?

I’m making emotions, he’s reasoning, doesn’t he care about me?

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Win Lose Or Love
1. Women naturally pay attention to emotions, and men are born to care about the truth

“In love, men like to be reasonable, women like to talk about feelings. In many cases, don’t just look for right or wrong, but the way of dealing.” The little thoughts in the intimate relationship are explained by a word.

Why are women more demanding for “feeling”?

Win Lose Or Love 
① The first is the difference in empathy between men and women. 

And this difference can even be traced back to ancient times. Men are responsible for hunting, so they are required to have strength and courage; women are responsible for taking care of their families, and communication and communication have become daily routines. They need to observe the surrounding environment more to ensure the safety of themselves and their families, so they have developed the ability to observe words and colors. In non-verbal communication, women tend to perform better than men and have a more keen sense of the emotions of others.

Win Lose Or Love
② Secondly, social culture also has a certain influence. 

Society often requires men to be strong, and accordingly, if they show too much emotional side, they will be considered vulnerable, which will trigger a sense of shame. In the process of growing up, men are subject to social discipline and will deliberately control themselves not to expose too much emotion. When women express emotions to them, men may subconsciously want to suppress the perceptual side with “reasonable” rationality and avoid emotional factors from gaining the upper hand.

However, in this way, the signal of women’s desire for emotional acceptance seems to be thrown into the vast universe. In the bombardment of her boyfriend’s truth, her heart echoes desperately: He doesn’t love me, he doesn’t care about me, he is passing on My refusal sounds like deliberately keeping a close distance with me.

You are standing on my left, like across the galaxy. win-lose is not such important.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Being reasonable does not mean not caring.

“Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars” accurately describes this situation: “When a man encounters a problem, he does not speak easily. He will leave the problem to himself. Only when he needs an answer from others, he will tell others. So, once he talks to others about his problems, it means asking for answers. So when a woman tells him her question, he naturally thinks she is also asking for an answer. He provides her with his answer, then He loved her and helped her.”

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

If the two sexes can have a deeper understanding of each other, misunderstandings caused by the way of communication can be greatly reduced. Hope we can have a win-win love.

Win Lose Or Love
2. He seems to be reasoning, but you sound like denying you

The act of “reasoning reason” itself contains a condescending right to speak: I know how to do it right, and your current practice is not good enough, so you have to listen to my correct reasoning.

Is this scene somewhat familiar? Generally, parents are reasoning to their children and teachers are reasoning to students. The status of both parties is high and low, and they are not completely equal. But in an intimate relationship, if you adopt this mode of discourse, it will only remind you of the fear of being dominated by a high-powered person.

The one who listens to the truth can easily feel a certain desire for control and a certain pressure to obey, which of course will arouse resistance.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

The transmission of language is a kind of encoding, but the power of decoding lies on the receiving side. You think you are doing it for her, but in fact, for most people, when their emotions need to be relieved, they are constantly being inputted with all kinds of knowledge, which is more like a denial of themselves.

No one likes to be ordered and directed. After all, so like to be reasonable, why bother to fall in love? Just go to be a debate team player!

Win Lose Or Love
3. Coaxing you may be rhetoric, and there is no lack of truth in reason

Many women complain that their boyfriends are too straight. When they have emotions, the other party will not coax others, but will only make sense.

But you might as well listen to their truth: In fact, he really thinks you are asking him for help and seriously wants to solve the problem for you.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Good boys are boasted, and good boyfriends are trained.

When your boyfriend vomits blood, you can refer to the communication methods provided in “Nonviolent Communication” to express your anger sensibly: stop, do nothing except breath; then think about what makes you angry The second is to experience your own needs (sometimes you need to listen to others first); the last is to express your feelings and unmet needs.

Use your soft communication skills to resolve this problem. After receiving feedback, those who love you will definitely appreciate your emotions and think about how to respond to your needs.

As Freud said: “Unexpressed emotions will never disappear. They are just buried alive. One day they will explode in an even uglier way.” But men must not think that solving problems is all right, understand and support Always what the girlfriend needs most.

Win Lose Or Love
4. Intimacy is no right or wrong to win or lose

There is no right or wrong to win or lose in intimacy. Most of the boys who won by reasoning with their girlfriends ended up being single. Don’t lose love.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Two of John Gray’s “One Hundred and One Ways Men Can Use to Keep Women’s Love Slots Full” are “Practice listening to and asking questions. Be sympathetic to her problems, but don’t try to solve them.” “

When the other party has emotions, you need to first accept the other party’s emotions and establish an emotional link. Women may care more about whether their boyfriend cares about themselves at this time, so they can express their love for the first time. For example, hugging, making caring easier.

When the mood is stable, communicate and listen to the other party’s expression instead of eager to express your own opinions.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Women also have to be more patient and don’t just confuse their emotions. Because most people who are willing to be reasonable are those who really want to help you.

Good communication helps to gradually expand the consensus. Based on the calmness of both parties, jointly discuss solutions to the problem and complete the closed-loop of meaningful communication.

Win Lose Or Love, which you choose?

Fromm said in “The Art of Loving“: “Love is a product for people to choose from in the market. It is not that you will always be happy if you choose the right one, but a continuous and active process of construction.” In return for growth faith. , Take constructive actions, work together a little bit with your partner, and sculpt the good intimacy that belongs to you!

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— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

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