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When You Love Someone So Much. WHY?

When you love someone so much. WHY?

Why on earth do we fall in love with another person?

When we are asked why we like or love our current partner, many people will look innocent and at a loss and say, “I don’t know why.”

But please think about it carefully, why do you choose to be with your partner in the vast crowd of people, among so many people you know? 

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When You Love Someone So Much. WHY?

When you love someone so much. WHY?

Why on earth do we fall in love with another person?

When we are asked why we like or love our current partner, many people will look innocent and at a loss and say, “I don’t know why.”

But please think about it carefully, why do you choose to be with your partner in the vast crowd of people, among so many people you know? When you love someone so much. WHY?

Hollywood romance movies tell us: “Love is blind.”

But psychologists tell us: “Love is not only not blind, but also very explainable.”

The most domineering psychologist I have ever heard is: “Tell me who you love, and I’ll tell you who you are. (Tell me who you love, and I can tell you who you are.) “

When you like someone so much, you must have these questions:

  • Why does it hurt so much when you love someone?
  • When you love someone so much you have to let them go, but why?
  • What do you do when you love someone so much?
  • When u love someone so much, you will feel “I don’t know how to love him/her”.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
1. Why on earth do we fall in love with another person?

Professor Nathaniel Branden, the most senior psychologist who studies self-esteem in the United States, explained it like this:

Just like we see everything, we want to “see” that we are also real in this world.

This “real existence” material form is easy for us to see, because we only need to look in the mirror. When you love someone so much. WHY? One of the important reasons why we like to look at ourselves in the mirror so much is that the mirror can make us feel our objective existence on the conscious level.

But there is a part of ourselves that we cannot “see” directly, and this part is our soul.

Our thoughts, values, beliefs, etc. can be reflected to some extent through our achievements.

For example, we draw a picture or design a building, but our entire soul cannot be displayed in the form of entities in this world. This is something that makes us very uneasy.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
2. How to be “seen”?

Then how can our soul be “seen” like other real substances?

Only through another person who exists consciously like us!

If this person can “see” our soul, and through interaction with us, reflect the soul seen in their eyes to us, we will know that our soul can be seen just like all other real objects.

In other words, others, like a mirror, can shine into our souls.

And we need such a mirror to see our soul, which truly exists in this world, just as we know our body is real when we look in a mirror.

When you love someone so much. WHY?

Professor Nathaniel Branden pointed out that the reason why we fall in love with someone for a long time (short-term is not counted, because short-term may be due to some wrong reasons), in essence, is because of the “principle of psychological visibility” he put forward.

It’s like a mirror. If your soul is truly seen by a person, you will fall in love with that person.

When you find that if others see us in the same way as our truest view of ourselves, and they show this understanding of us through their words and deeds to us, we will have a kind of deep feeling of being “seen”.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
-Example-

First of all, we assume that you have relatively mature psychology and a more correct self-perception, and then you feel that you are an optimistic, lively, cheerful, enthusiastic, courageous, and very confident person.

At this time you meet a pessimistic, closed, unenthusiastic, and very unconfident person. He will treat your self-confidence as an attack, and doubt the intention of all you say and do. He always feels that you want to manipulate him. How would you feel at this time?

You may feel confused, puzzled and deeply misunderstood, and not understood.

In another situation, when you express yourself very confidently, and then another person immediately understands your confidence and calmness, and smiles at you, what does he feel about you?

When you love someone so much. WHY?
3. How does it feel to be “seen”?

You will feel that you have been “seen” by him.

This is what we call the feeling of being seen.

The important reason why we will love another person: by loving you, I saw myself.

When we meet someone who thinks what we think, discovers what we find, cherishes what we cherish, and reacts the same as us in different situations, we not only experience a strong sense of intimacy but also Will feel that through this person, we see ourselves.

When you find that all the beliefs, values, qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that define who you are will be manifested in another person, you will have the feeling of recognizing yourself in her.

This is why we look for people who are similar in nature to ourselves (we will discuss the issue of mutual attraction and complementarity later).

When you love someone so much. WHY?
-Example-

Suppose you are a person who has high self-esteem, feels that everyone is full of infinite potential, feels that his life is full of infinite possibilities, and feels that the world will respond to your efforts, talents, and talents.

When you meet someone who also believes that the world is a person who responds to all her efforts, talents, and talents, has high self-esteem, and believes in her infinite possibilities, you will have a heartfelt appreciation, and she Every move of will remind yourself:

These things about her are all about myself that I cherish the most.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
4. Psychological visibility opens the door to our self-exploration

When you love someone so much. WHY? Our psychological visibility always has a degree problem.

From our childhood, we have been gradually getting to know ourselves better through interaction with others.

Every child is more or less “seen” in the family because children who are not seen cannot survive at all.

But countless children always feel insecure or inadequate in their close relationships after adults because they are not seen in the family.

Psychological visibility actually opens the door to our self-exploration.

We continue to deepen our self-knowledge in various interactions with others, but nothing can increase our self-knowledge more than intimate relationships.

In an intimate relationship where we are truly seen, we will constantly find ourselves that we did not realize before, or we have not yet surfaced-the potential that we have not discovered, the potential that we have lurked, those that we have never had Obviously expressed personality traits and so on.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
-Examples-

For example, if your partner is a better person than you to connect with your body and your emotions, then when you are with her, you will unconsciously explore your connection with your body and your emotions. ;

For another example, your partner is a person who naturally expresses his inner “child”, and you are a person whose inner child is suppressed. If your partner tells you:

My dear, I saw the child in your heart and I encourage you to express it. It is very possible that you can express the child you couldn’t express before.

When you love someone so much. WHY?
5. Conclusion

When you love someone so much. WHY? One of the most beautiful things in mature intimate relationships is that when you are doubting yourself, your partner says to you: My dear, please don’t pretend you don’t know you can do it, Please be yourself.

An important reason why we will fall in love with another person for a long time and always be in love with this person ——

  • Because in your eyes, I saw myself in my eyes;
  • Because with you, I saw my own shadow;
  • Because you really saw me and kept letting me discover a new self;
  • I love you because, in your eyes, I really find the feeling of being in this world.

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— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

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