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Pursue: The Amity Affliction Everyone Loves You Once You Leave Them

The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

People always know how to cherish only after they lose, why is that?

Because for people, the pain of loss is far more intense than the joy of gain.

People are always like this, when the goal is achieved, people do not feel how excited.

Because many times we achieve our goals is a matter of water, we have paid a huge price, overcome a lot of difficulties, so the “get” means more “additional products” of our efforts, and does not make us feel surprised.

There is a small group of people who can get a huge gain for a very small price, but that does not represent the whole group.

For us ordinary people, as long as the goal is to achieve the activity, it must be based on the huge price we pay.

In other words, when the cost is proportional to the gain, the realization of the goal, the benefits will not cause us too much “cherish” the idea, because it is a matter of course.



The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

On the contrary, when the cost far exceeds the benefit, i.e., pay a great price to achieve the goal, we will cherish the gain.

For this reason, most of the “gains” in life do not make us feel happy, while the “losses” make us feel miserable.

Pursuit and gain can be said to be the relationship between the process and the end.

Although the process is hard, but there are goals, direction, people will not be confused, life will be full of motivation. The end point can bring sweetness, but it also means the end of the process.

People always struggle for a long time for a goal, and many times do not consider what they should do after achieving the goal, what is the next goal?



The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

The singularity of the goal leads to a period of confusion after achieving the goal, during which people do not know what they should do, or even do nothing, to the point of regression.

That’s why pursuit is happier, because although it is hard work, people are able to gain a sense of accomplishment by achieving one sub-goal after another and know what they should do.

“Getting” is sweet, but it means the end, and everyone doesn’t want the end, and people live in the world to realize their values.

So from this point of view, pursuing is much more happy than getting.

Goals are internal mental representations that individuals make and guide their behavior. People make plans to achieve their goals, and they test their behavior through the mental representation of their goals, i.e., they monitor their behavior.



The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

The purpose of goals is to allow people to monitor themselves and observe whether their behavior is deviating from their goals, and to adjust their behavior if they are deviating from their goals.

For example, if a person wants to obtain a professional level certificate, he must pay attention to the time and procedures of the examination, as well as the knowledge he needs to master, how to master the knowledge, how to ensure his study status, etc.. Such a series of steps can ensure that we achieve our goals.

Our behavior is not guided by the future, but by a certain mental representation of the future, mental representation being the way in which information is stored and transformed in our minds.

Read more: When Is The Right Time To Say I Love You?



The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

If we do not have a mental representation of our pursuit, then we cannot behave purposefully.

For example, for someone who wants his family to be rich and live a high quality of life in the future, this is a mental representation of the future that guides his behavior and makes him study hard, work hard, and strive hard to achieve his goals.

We all have different goals, some people pursue a high quality material life, some people pursue a spiritually rich life, some people pursue a happy and ordinary family life, and some people pursue a thrilling and exciting life.

It can be seen that people’s goals are diverse, and each person may have various goals, each goal represents a personal pursuit, and the diversity of goals is one of the important reasons why people feel happy.



The amity affliction everyone loves you once you leave them, and why?

Research shows that people’s goals are roughly divided into five categories, and the most common type of goals are self-esteem and approval goals, that is, maintaining self-esteem, avoiding failure, career advancement, competitive success, being accepted by others, self-affirmation, and so on.

People’s pursuit of material life and self-fulfillment belong to this type of goals. In the process of pursuing such goals, countless people have hit the wall and given up because of it, and on the way of pursuing, they have cried, laughed, succeeded, failed, frustrated and confident.


All of these are eventually transformed into personal experiences stored in people’s cognitive structure, becoming part of their bodies and guiding their next actions.

No one wants to feel the taste of failure, but because there is failure, there is success, and success after failure is always more joyful, so compared to “getting”, the pursuit makes people feel happier because it has a broader connotation and always fills people with hope.

I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.

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