Many people can’t forget their predecessors. Some people even have a little connection with their predecessors, which is taboo for the present. So what is the psychology of connecting with their predecessors? Let’s take a look.
What’s the psychology of contacting your predecessor
1. The past feelings are still warm. I can’t bear to be a bad person
When a relationship comes to the end, no matter what kind of ending two people end up with, in fact, most of the time, when we think back, we are happy. After all, if there is no happy moment in a love relationship, it will not be upgraded to a love relationship. So, even if we break up, even if we become friends, or if we don’t communicate with each other, we still have some feelings for our predecessors or our predecessors.
2. Have a little hope for the future
In fact, the reason for many people to break up, in the final analysis, is the contradiction caused by the mismatch of needs. They are used to being self-centered and are not willing to change themselves for each other. When their own needs are not met, they will cause contradictions. However, these contradictions will only appear to be uncoordinated at that time. In fact, when you come out of that environment and emotion, you will feel that your thoughts and actions at that time may be too impulsive and irrational.
What is the mentality of keeping in touch with your predecessor
1. If the other party already has a love object or has been married, the ex can contact him, but he should position himself well. Don’t say what he doesn’t say and don’t do what he doesn’t do. It’s a matter of character.
2. If either side doesn’t put down their mutual feelings, then they shouldn’t keep in touch.
3. If you put it all down, it’s meaningless to keep in touch.
Will you still contact your ex after breaking up
It depends on whether you still like your ex. many people think that after breaking up, you can’t get in touch with her any more, and you can’t be a friend. After all, you used to love her so much. How can you still be a friend? But if you really like your ex, you still have a place in your heart. You will always wait for her and wait for her to come back. I believe that it’s yours and will come back to you eventually.
What should I pay attention to when chatting with my ex
1. Don’t talk about the past all the time. Talk about new topics.
Just treat him as an ordinary friend for many years and try to avoid the topic you talked about together before. Always being held back by the past, it’s easy to have embarrassing situations. For example, when it comes to the reasons for breaking up, is it his fault or your fault? If he is wrong, why do you still contact him? If you are wrong, are you willing to raise it? In order to avoid becoming a big discussion about breaking up, let’s talk about some new topics. You can tell him what you are interested in, share your latest new plan with him, and let him give some suggestions.
2. Don’t argue with him.
In case of any dispute between the two parties, please remember not to argue with him. When you talk to your ex, you are likely to worry about gain and loss. Be careful and try to avoid the sensitive topics between you. If it’s really unfortunate that they don’t agree, you should remember to follow him. Even if you don’t agree, don’t contradict him. You just need to be friendly to him. You should have sensitive insight. When you find that the smell of gunpowder is about to appear, you should press it down to avoid the scene that even ordinary friends can’t do.
3. The words are concise and the meaning is clear.
You can’t be submissive, you can’t have your own opinions, you can’t just say what the other party says; you can’t just say what you think of without topic, and you can’t talk nonsense; you can’t make people unable to guess your purpose by circling several times with one meaning. In the process of communication, please pay attention to your words. It’s better to be simple and clean, to express the meaning clearly, but it can’t be too concise, on the contrary, it’s even more confusing. When you decide to call him, just think about what to say. You can contact him several times by yourself.
I’m Vincent Simon, graduated from Tsinghua University, majoring in psychology. I’m a writer dedicated to provide suggestions on relationship, marriage and social skills.
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4. You can’t be too enthusiastic.
If separated lovers are willing to be friends again, they are calm in the face of each other. You can be warm and relaxed, break the deadlock and adjust the atmosphere between them, but you can’t be too warm, which makes people think that you are abnormal, doubt that you have any bad motives and scare away each other. Remember to be relaxed and plain when communicating. When you feel that you should end this conversation, don’t procrastinate. Be decisive. Take the initiative to say goodbye to the other party. It’s clean and conducive to the next communication.