Some things to do with your partner:
When we were young, we often heard such big endings in fairy tales – “the prince and princess lived happily ever after”. However, reality is not a fairy tale, and you are not a prince or princess in a fairy tale.
How to make your boyfriend happier? In the real world, houses need constant repair to keep them from collapsing, bodies need exercise to stay healthy, and intimate relationships also require us to invest time and energy to manage them well.
So, how do we actually maintain a long-term relationship? Goldsmith, an American intimacy expert, offers many effective and practical suggestions for couples who want to “grow closer” in his book “Growing Closer”.
1. Express love with a secret code
Things to do as a couple at home: Love is not something you can get just by waiting, nor is it something you can give by thinking about it. No matter how much you understand that you love your partner, you need to learn to express love.
Romantic things to do to your boyfriend: Love does not always have to be conveyed through straightforward words or long hours of companionship; you can try creating a secret code of love with your partner, which can be a little secret that only the two of you know.
2. Find joy in the ordinary things
Things to do with your partner: Sometimes we stop doing the things that have brought us precious memories because our competitive lifestyles have taught us how to compete with each other and made us forget how to have fun.
However, having fun does not require a lot of time or money, and the “attention” in an intimate relationship is more important than the time spent together on the surface. Romantic things to do to your boyfriend: In fact, if you can devote 100% of your attention to your partner in some private, uninterrupted time, couples can reap real pleasure simply by planning to do ordinary things together.
You can make a list of fun things you want to do with your partner that are simple, enjoyable and easy to do. Turning chores into a scavenger hunt, cooking into a cook-off, or just taking a walk and talking or taking a bike ride together are all enjoyable but not expensive everyday activities that can bring a couple closer together.
3. Turn romantic moments into rituals
Things to do with your partner: Some would say that loving the right person is Valentine’s Day every day, but what’s the difference between a Valentine’s Day that’s spent every day and a normal day?
How to make your boyfriend happier? Intimate relationships require a sense of ritual. In The Little Prince, the tamed fox tells the young prince that a ritual is what makes a day different from other days, a moment different from other moments. One of the hunters’ rituals is to dance with the village girl every Thursday, so Thursday is a wonderful day, but if one dances at all times, then every day is no different.
Things to do with your partner: Couples can evolve events from romantic moments into rituals, such as sending a funny emoji to your partner every morning; customizing a special gift together for an anniversary; agreeing to write each other a letter, make a video or create a photo album each year to record and look back on the good times together ……
How to make your boyfriend happier? On an ordinary day, these small ritualistic things will then become the light in each other’s lives, a treasured wine, and a reminder of those romantic memories you have in the years to come.
4. Bravely try to start “difficult conversations”
Things to do with your partner: Many couples will fight over trivial things that have nothing to do with what is really bothering them.
When faced with conflict, most couples choose not to have the difficult conversations because they are afraid of exposing their partner to the issues that torment them; instead, they tough it out and choose to avoid the problems in their relationship.
However, falling into the trap of avoiding conflict can be the biggest mistake in an intimate relationship because in many cases, we spend far more energy avoiding pain than we need to expend when we face it.
Romantic things to do to your boyfriend: In intimate relationships, if you have questions, ask them. Difficult conversations are the foundation of lasting relationships. Couples can talk about their feelings and intimacy problems with each other regularly (e.g., weekly, monthly) or after each argument through “love meetings.
5. Respect each other’s need for solitude
Things to do with your partner: Being alone is a normal human need, but many people in a relationship will feel uncomfortable in creating this need and will be afraid to share it with their partner because they may misunderstand you and feel hurt.
Couples need to come to an understanding that being alone is not a threat to your relationship, nor is it a punishment or an escape. Things to do with your partner: If this is not an easy topic to talk about, it may be because one of you is insecure about some aspect of your relationship.
Both partners need to respect each other’s personal space based on building a sense of security and trust.
Things to do with your partner: For example, try going on an outing together and when you get there, you may want to see different things. Go your separate ways and meet up a few hours later to share what you saw and heard; or you can try sitting together and reading a book each. By doing this, you both get to be together and you both go where you want to go.