Is it better to be loved or feared? If loving people is a nature, then learning to be loved is an ability that needs to be learned slowly.
Don’t worry that words like “I can’t”, “I’m sad”, “I need you” will cause trouble for the other person, often it is these words that may make the person who loves you feel needed. The bond between people is created because of the trouble.
It is better to be feared than loved, is right? Are you like me, afraid of trouble, more afraid of trouble than not wanting to be bothered by others.
Is it better to be loved or feared? I am really too afraid to trouble others, especially to bring others negative energy, so generally will do what can be done by themselves, can digest the bad emotions will be digested by themselves.
But in the past year or so my thinking is slowly changing, I began to “trouble” others and do not feel guilty, and even a little surprised.
1. Being taken in
During the epidemic last year, I was taken in by my best friend, and I was scolded for giving a tip.
Is it better to be loved or feared? I was scolded for giving a tip. In fact, I had been on good terms with Ayan before, but after the past few days, it was obvious that I was getting closer. She herself said that these few days have made a good difference in her life.
2. Being cared for
Once I was crying because of my work, until a friend said, “Actually, you are quite powerful in Shanghai by yourself”. “You wait for me for a while” (himself crying to go), he waited for me to finish crying and continue to chat with me.
Is it better to be loved or feared? This feeling of “being cared for” makes me feel like I’m willing to try to talk about my negative emotions in the moment, rather than digesting them myself.
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3. Being silently cared for
Once I was chatting with a friend on the phone about some issues and I said, “I know, but you know that’s how I am. “I know, so the heart hurts you ah.” Hearing this sentence originally did not feel aggrieved I suddenly very aggrieved.
It is better to be feared than loved, is right? You see, even if you do not bother some people, there are always people who care about you silently and are willing to help you, and even waiting for you to go to them.
I think back on these experiences and plan to write something, so I have this tweet.
Being loved because you deserve it
Is it better to be loved or feared? Perhaps out of low self-esteem, some people will be unconditionally good to others, but for the kindness of others will feel flattered, feel that they do not deserve.
In fact, it’s not that you don’t deserve it, but you lack an ability, an ability called learning to be loved.
If loving people is a nature, then learning to be loved is an ability that needs to be learned slowly.
Is it better to be loved or feared? After all, people who really love you don’t care if you are ordinary or dazzling, in their eyes you are worth their love.
This reminds me of Tom the cat and mouse.
Tom seems to be very stupid, he was caught, chased by dogs, kicked out by his master, bullied by other cats, he almost lived at the “bottom of the food chain”.
Throughout, he is single, no cat is attracted to him, and he is very humble when pursuing his favorite female cat.
But in reality, he was a man of many talents.
Is it better to be loved or feared? He plays and sings, is good at the piano, can conduct, plays and sings, and is just as strong at sports, golf, tennis, surfing!
It seems that only Jerry is “true love” for Tom.
He is disgusted with Tom’s obsession with beautiful cats and is being manipulated like a fool, so he deliberately causes havoc.
He does everything he can to protect a drunken Tom from his master’s scolding.
Tom was kicked out of the house, Jerry took the initiative to help him win back the trust of the master.
In turn, Tom is like this to Jerry.
Is it better to be loved or feared? Perhaps Tom and Jerry’s feelings come from the two little ones long “love each other”; perhaps in each other’s eyes, the other is incredibly ordinary, or very bright, but there is no denying that in the two little ones, they are not the same.
But it is undeniable that in their eyes, the other party is worth their love, worth their good to him.
In life too, you can try to become a little softer in front of people who are very close.
Is it better to be loved or feared? Do not have to smile all the time do not have to be afraid of each other embarrassed, do not worry about “I can not”, “I am very sad”, “I need you” such words will cause each other’s distress.
Is it better to be loved or feared? Many times it may be these words that make people who love you have a sense of being needed, and the bond between people is created because of the trouble.
Learning to be loved is more important than loving
Hey baby, are you afraid to bother others? Does the kindness of others make you feel flattered? Do you feel that you don’t deserve to be loved?
Let me start by giving you a quote: “Acknowledge your bad feelings and then overcome them by ‘bothering others’.”
Is it better to be loved or feared? Actually, I still want to tell you: learning to be loved is more important than loving people.
Is it better to be loved or feared? Because it proves that you already know how to accept and affirm yourself, and also proves that you love yourself, and only by loving yourself first can you better realize the love for others.
Is it better to be loved or feared? Then I wish you all learn to be loved and love yourself and the people around you well.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.