What are the types of intimacy? There are four different types of intimacy in love: security type, obsession type, alienation type and fear type. Each attachment type has its own love style in love, which is influenced by the attachment of mother or other guardians in infancy. Understand those 4 types of intimate relationships, you will have a deep feeling about different forms of intimacy.
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4 types of intimacy
1. Types of intimacy: Secure attachment
What are the different types of intimacy? Understand those types of intimacy, you should know that, for you, warmth and love are natural. You can be close to people without worrying about your relationship or misunderstanding. You accept the shortcomings of your partner and can love and respect him. You don’t take love as a game of winning and losing, and you don’t make your mind try to control the other party. You will express your needs and feelings directly, frankly and firmly. When you feel what you have gained from him or what he has given, you can say it directly.
And you can respond to your partner and try to meet his needs. Because you have good self-esteem (we’ll talk about what self-esteem is later), you won’t easily regard some things as personal offenses to you, and you won’t be very sensitive to criticism, so when you have conflicts with your lover, you won’t be very defensive and angry at a little disagreement.
On the contrary, you can solve problems well, and you can demote conflicts by apologizing and forgiving.
2. Types of intimacy: Obsessive attachment
What are the different types of intimacy? You want intimacy, and you have the ability to. In order to maintain a good relationship, you will give up your own needs to please and adapt to your partner. But because your own needs are not met, you will become unhappy.
Your world is completely occupied by your love, you are highly cooperative with your partner, you will put a lot of energy around he, always worried that TA will become less intimate, worried that his feelings for you will become less. It’s easy for you to personalize some small things and think that the other person’s small actions are negative signals to you.
If you are in those types of intimacy, you should know that, in order to relieve your anxiety, you will “play games” with your partner, have a lot of “caution machines”, or hope to be able to control your partner to get attention. You may pretend to be cold, lose your temper, don’t call back, be jealous, or threaten the other person to leave, so as to get the other person’s response and strengthen the confidence of “the other person loves me”. When his attention is elsewhere, it’s easy for you to be jealous and call and text him frequently, even if he tells you not to.
Fear type and alienation type have many similarities in performance. Let’s talk about the alienation type first, because the performance of alienation type is more clear.
3. Types of intimacy: Alienation attachment
What are the different types of intimacy? You avoid intimacy. Your independence and “self-sufficiency” are more important than intimacy. When you are in a relationship, you are still self reliant and self satisfied. You will feel uncomfortable sharing your feelings with each other. You protect your freedom, you delay giving promises. Once you make a commitment, you will keep a certain distance from the relationship in your mind. You will observe and examine the relationship, often notice each other’s shortcomings, recall the fun of being single, or fantasize about a better relationship.
In different types intimacy, obsessive (dependent) people are particularly sensitive to signals that the other person wants to keep a distance, while you are particularly sensitive to signals that the other person wants to control you and limit your freedom. When you are in a love relationship, you will flirt with other people, make decisions about two people unilaterally, sometimes ignore your partner, ignore each other’s feelings and needs.
Your partner sometimes complains that you don’t need TA at all, or that you’re untrue to them because you keep your secrets and don’t share your feelings with them. In fact, your partner will often show great desire for you, or even over dependence on you, because it will make you feel strong and safe.
As for yourself, you don’t think it’s necessary to rely on others, or even think it’s unnecessary to have an intimate relationship with others.
4. Types of intimacy: Phobic attachment
What are the different types of intimacy? You’re different from the alienated attachment, you know you need intimacy, you know you need to rely on others. But on the one hand, you are afraid of being too close to others. You are afraid that it will put you in some danger. On the one hand, you worry that relying on others will damage your freedom. On the other hand, you worry that depending on others will be rejected, hurt and become vulnerable.
Your attitude towards freedom and autonomy is not so firm. You need freedom and desire to give up freedom. It’s not that you are not afraid of breaking up, but once the relationship is threatened, you pretend that you never have the need to be attached and bury your own feelings. You suppress them, sometimes you don’t even feel them.
The above are the different types of intimacy. It’s never easy to meet the right person. When you find that you have missed the one you once loved, you still have to be full of hope for her or him in the future. If you want to find anyone to listen to your sad stories, come to BothLive and meet your soul mate.
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