1) why do i still think about my ex?
In two brutal experiments, psychologists took a group of poor people who had broken up but still loved each other, forced them to look at pictures of their ex, and used MRI scans to record the reactions in their brains. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University in the United States, found that when people think about their predecessors, the activated parts of the brain are the same as those of drug addiction!
And Ethan Kross, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, he asking participants not only to force pictures of their ex, but also to think in their heads, “how did you break up? Why doesn’t he/she want you anymore? “And then he looked at their MRI images and found that when they recalled their ex, the parts of the brain that were activated were the same as those activated after the body felt pain.
That is to say, love is addictive like drugs, while breaking up and quitting your ex are as painful as quitting drugs.
In essence, missing the ex is a habit, even an addictive behavior. If we want to stop the ex, we need psychological intervention and counseling.
The way to solve the emotion is always to face directly, vent and dredge. Any behavior that deliberately avoids or suppresses emotions will lead to the next round of outbreak and collapse.
When we abstain from our predecessors, what we abstain from is not the memory of the person, but the memory related to him that has been reshaped by our thinking
The formation of habits needs a long time of persistent accumulation and deliberate practice, but the abolition of habits needs a short period of impact and interruption.
2) But for the question why do i still think about my ex? Why is it so hard for people to forget their ex?
Most of people mentioned that‘All parts of your life at present have the shadow of your ex in love. We can’t get rid of it. We can’t escape it. We can’t forget it. We can’t let it go.’
This remind me of a book called Sand and Foam
wrote by Kahlil Gibran.
I AM FOREVER walking upon these shores,
Betwixt the sand and the foam,
The high tide will erase my foot-prints,
And the wind will blow away the foam.
But the sea and the shore will remain
In fact, in social psychology, this is closely related to people’s self-concept. Self concept is people’s experience of their own existence. We will gradually deepen our understanding of ourselves through constant self reflection or feedback from others. The longer we are together, the deeper the previous feelings are, the more people tend to think from the perspective of “we” rather than “me” – what is the best for us, what we want, what our future will be… So, just after we are separated from our partner for many years, we will unconsciously face an identity crisis Crisis）。 It’s like forcing you to pull out of our identity and start thinking from my perspective. You can imagine how difficult the process is. After losing him, we may no longer know “who am I?”
3) We will always thinking about our ex unconsciously. Why do i still think about my ex? We all do that. So, put yourself together, Try something new.
In the process of recalling their predecessors, people will easily fall into a vicious circle of negativity, over interpretation and entanglement of negative events. Psychologically, this is called Rumination.
Try something new, and make new friends, stop thinking negatively from now on.
4) What should we do to get over our ex? why do i still think about my ex?
‘Delete’ him in your life
Say goodbye to your past
Don’t have any expectations, don’t have any nostalgia, let yourself clearly understand that there is no possibility between you, completely deny him, deny your delusional future, and then the social network blackout, delete the contact information, old death do not contact.
Try hard to live a little bit like a human, to try a variety of new possibilities, he is not good enough for you to spend a lifetime to remember.
5) You should realize and absorb the following content to forget your ex.
Lovelorn means that two people are not suitable at all. Even some people are the one who breaks up voluntarily at the beginning. But why can’t these people accept the logic that is reasonable? There is only one truth: every time these people think of their predecessors, they are deliberately tampered with. Yes, memory can be modified. The memories in our minds are the result of our subjective impression. We see this path, which leads to the association of our predecessors. In the association, because we are reluctant to give up and miss, our brain presents the scene of walking together with our ex when they were in love.
Extend Reading:[30 rules make you know more about love]
So this scene makes you feel: how wonderful your past is, you miss him very much, and you want to go back to the old days with him. But the objective situation may not be like this. On the same road, you may have had a lot of quarrels, or your so-called walking is not walking slowly with arm in arm on your shoulder. In fact, it may be that two people are playing with their mobile phones and doing what they should do when they go home. But it doesn’t matter, you have needs, and your brain will naturally present the results you want. Did you see? Two of the most important things we can’t stop our predecessors are: the current environment always makes us unconsciously associate with him.
These associations are all beautified by our involuntarily processing, and we can’t extricate ourselves from them.
You can read and think, I feel like you will have a better understanding about ‘why do i still think about my ex’.
Take your steps, we only live once, move on as soon as possible.
If you still wanna get your ex back, then read the below article:
Extend Reading:[How can I get him back? How can we get our ex back?]
IF, I mean if you are going to start a new relationship, whether you are ready for it or not, you can get on Bl (Bothlive) to meet a new one.