A male reader left me a message on Bothlive saying that they have been married for 15 years and he loves her very much. She cheated on me last year and when I found out, she regretted it so much that she immediately broke it off with the person she cheated on me with and we both said we would not divorce. When I mentioned this, she cried a lot and did not explain. It’s hard for me, I still love her, but I can’t get over wife’s infidelity. We used to be so good, how can I continue?
I can’t get over wife’s infidelity, how to do it? For this question, it may be difficult for every person who has been cheated on to answer the question. And my answer is just a reference. After all, everyone’s acceptance of cheating is different.
In this marriage, the questioner is you, then understand you first, then understand her.
Men in the subconscious, there has been a woman as a private psychological tendency, once the wife had an affair, it means that the man’s right to privacy is challenged, always “obedient” wife, there will not be “obedient” day, which is the husband of the people The man who is a husband is equivalent to a huge loss and trauma. This is not quite the same as a woman asking a man to be exclusive, in your mind, your wife has been “touched” by someone, it is unacceptable.
From last year to now, the days have not passed too long, the wife of the matter, like a thorn in your heart, always stirring your nerves, if you do not feel bad, is not from time to time to mention this matter to his wife.
I can’t get over wife’s infidelity, how to do it? So mentioning this in front of your wife is not a need inside you? You need to remind your wife that she has made a mistake, she is a sinner; or you need to see your wife full of guilt, you do not allow her to forget about it, and do not allow yourself to easily forgive her, because you simply have not forgiven her.
She had to pay for what she did wrong, so she was willing to do everything for you to ask for your forgiveness, to redeem herself, to redeem her marriage. But you will feel that this is not enough, that this punishment is not heavy enough.
Do you want a convincing explanation? What should your wife say so that you might be convinced? What answer are you seeking that you can say here? Can you understand why your wife won’t say anything? If it’s out of concern for protecting your relationship and she won’t say anything, does that mean you have to go and bring it up?
I can’t get over wife’s infidelity, how to do it? You and your wife do not choose to divorce, that you are to maintain the marriage, want to work together to overcome the marriage crisis, continue to go, then, after the wife back to the family, the leading person in the direction of your marriage is you.
Your view and attitude towards your wife’s affair determines what you will do next and how you feel about the marriage; your attitude and perception determines in which direction the marriage will develop.
No extramarital affair is designed to destroy an existing marriage. If you do not hold this concept, from time to time in front of your wife to mention her this matter, so that she is in a long time in the mental state of guilt. Let her not be able to face you, then, your marriage, one day will slowly go cold. Although you have said that you still love each other and want to cherish this relationship, but you will also exhaust the remaining feelings.
I can’t get over wife’s infidelity, how to do it? If in this marriage, you face her as a benefactor and she faces you as a sinner, not only will the trust in the marriage not be rebuilt, but perhaps your wife will lose faith in the marriage because she cannot find a real path that will allow you to forgive her, and perhaps at some point in the future, your wife will have no choice but to ask you for a divorce.
Marriage is something that has life, and having life means that it will one day suffer an accident and a blow, but marriage also has to have a chance to repair itself, a chance that, if you don’t give it, the marriage will slowly wither and die from the inside, leaving an empty shell.
At the level of human nature, man is independent and has the right to free choice, man will not give up his life and future because of marriage, if he does not see something to look forward to.
So, the question at hand is not whether a woman’s cheating can be forgiven by you, but whether you can give yourself the opportunity to forgive a woman you still love, but who has made a mistake.
Forgiveness is not verbal, but through your look, your actions, your daily attitude to express whether you can sincerely forgive your wife, your wife must be able to perceive.
I can’t get over wife’s infidelity, how to do it? For marriage, it must be two people facing a marital crisis, both have a thorough reflection and open communication and acceptance of each other, marriage from turmoil to calm, need to go through a metamorphosis of pain, in this process, there are some things you can not do to destroy the marriage, such as mentioning your wife’s fault from time to time, venting emotions from time to time, which will stunt the wife’s drive to seek change.
When you are unhappy, you may ask, forgiveness and understanding of the wife is the only choice?
This depends on how much you value your marriage.
How should it continue?
You have to be clear about your complex feelings for your wife, understand your true heart, do not treat yourself as a benefactor who takes in sinners, still look at your wife with an equal heart, so that she can live like a dignified person in this marriage. Be careful not to force her words or actions, she will appreciate your forgiveness and actively maintain the marriage that belongs to you.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice or contact me on Bothlive.