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How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Loves Me? The Perspective Of Psychology

Many girls will ask: How do I know if he loves me? How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Does he love me? How do I know my boyfriend loves me? How can I know that my boyfriend loves me? How do I know if he really loves me?

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How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Loves Me? The Perspective Of Psychology

Many girls will ask: How do I know if he loves me? How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?

Facing the complicated subject of love, it is inevitable that we will encounter this kind of confusion: What is love? How to distinguish between like and love? How to judge whether a person is truly in love? Does he love me? How do I know my boyfriend loves me? How can I know that my boyfriend loves me? How do I know if he really loves me?

 

Here, let’s take a look at it from the perspective of psychology.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?
1. What is the difference between like and love?

Social psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed the Triangular theory of love. He believes that love is composed of three elements: passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion is the instinctive attraction and stimulation of sexual desire; intimacy is the feeling that two people appreciate each other, a warm experience; commitment is the expectation and responsibility for the long-term relationship and the future.

The lack of any one of the three factors will cause love to be unable to be stable and lasting.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Often in life, the three do not exist at the same time, so there will be all kinds of love, which makes people hurt and confused. They are not true love.

Only passionate love is infatuation; only intimate love is like. Attracted by pure instinct, the love of moths to the fire seems gorgeous, but regardless of the consequences, it often comes and goes fast. Love like first love on campus is innocent and pure, but in ignorance, unable to assume longer-term responsibilities, it often ends hurriedly and bitterly.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Really mature love has the three elements of passion, intimacy, and commitment at the same time. You have instinctive attraction, appreciate each other, take care of each other, are willing to communicate sincerely, reveal your heart, and imagine the blueprint of your future life together… Only this beautiful love will last and be stable.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?
2. How to judge whether oneself or the other party likes or loves?

Although in theory, we can clearly know the difference between “like” and “love”. However, in actual love and marriage, how to tell whether you like or love each other or yourself still deeply troubles many people. Based on the extensive consulting experience we have done, we can mainly judge from these two points.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?
1) Like: Passive enjoyment vs. Love: Actively give

Like is very simple, as long as you are happy, enjoy beautiful experiences and experiences easily and effortlessly.

Love is different. It is not so easy. It requires active efforts, efforts to create and overcome various obstacles to entering another person’s world.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Just like we all have a lot of hobbies, some people will say “I like movies”, maybe they like to sit in the cinema and enjoy the sensory stimulation of sound, light, and sound, or enjoy it in a rare leisure time. Quiet movie time.

Some people say that “I love movies” and must spend more time and energy, not just “passively watching”, but may repeatedly watch the film many times, investigate the historical background of the story, and study every metaphorical lens, Interpreting the director’s illocutionary meaning… Hard work has resulted in a deeper understanding and love.

Therefore, in an intimate relationship, you can observe whether the other party is just passively enjoying your goodness to him, and has he actively contributed what kind of effort?

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?
2) Like: Appreciate the advantages vs. Love: Accept the disadvantages

If you say that like is a short-term attraction, and you appreciate each other under the influence of the passion hormone secreted by the brain, what you see is the “goodness of the other party”. Love is to see the other person’s true appearance after an in-depth and thorough understanding of each other, but you are willing to accept “the other party’s shortcomings”.

Just like you have just met or been in love with a person, every time you go out on a date, you will seriously make up and dress up and prepare carefully; the other person will also show a glamorous side in front of you. In the early days of love, everyone is their own “ambassador”. At this time, what we like are each other’s strengths, and we are selective.

As the understanding deepens, remove the “beautification filter”, you can see the other person’s life more three-dimensional and complete, maybe he works hard but not so careful, maybe he is practical but not so interesting… When you see Everything, you still want to go on firmly, you will be sure that he is the person you want.

Therefore, in an intimate relationship, when you feel that the other person fits everything you have, the more you look, the more you appreciate it, don’t be anxious to judge that you have found true love. You may be in the passion of love. This is just like.

When you clearly know his various shortcomings: he smokes, he plays games, he is very house… After you see his truest side, you are still willing to be with him, which shows your relationship has entered a new stage. You can accept his shortcomings or he can accept your shortcomings, this is love.

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me? Although the truth seems to be easy to understand, if everything can be squarely matched, it is not love. In the consultations we have done, people who are deeply emotionally troubled often ask a question urgently: Does he love me?

 

How do I know if my boyfriend loves me?
3. How to tell if he loves me?

When you ask this question and have been entangled in confusion, you are already in a state of suspicion, worrying about gains and losses.

You will easily become obsessed with looking for all kinds of evidence, to judge, to examine, instead of fully immersed in and enjoy love. You want to get an answer more than thinking about how to maintain this love. Such a result can only push the other side farther and farther, and the originally good love is also worn out in the toss.

Love is an ability, not a state. Instead of repeatedly asking: “Does he love me?” You might as well ask yourself: “Do I have the ability to let him always love me?” “How much energy do I have to actively invest in this love?”

Moreover, even if you get the answer to this question, it will only be temporary. What you want is not that he loves me today, but hope that love can last for a long time.

Spend more energy on yourself, keep learning, and grow for life. Let yourself be a little bit more exciting than yesterday, and constantly let the other person discover your fresh side, so as to harvest the ideal love.

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— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

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