Yes, whether in Eastern or Western culture, we always try to avoid talking about death, and we are more afraid to face death. Especially in Chinese culture, death is regarded as a taboo.
We are secretive about death, even if a thought about it flashes in our minds, it will be considered unlucky. If a person is seriously ill, someone will always say, “You don’t want to be crazy.” The “crack” here refers to nothing but death.
But in fact, with the popularization of life and death education, in many countries and regions, people’s attitudes towards death have become more and more acceptable and open. In the United States, one third of funerals are pre-arranged and paid for before death. In Hong Kong and Taiwan, the farewell style with laughter and blessings is no longer just a bridge segment that is only found in movies. Today, we also want to talk to you about death frankly and frankly. Why are we so afraid of death? When we experience the death of people around us, must we deliberately forget it? Is there any way we can maintain some kind of “connection” with them who have passed away?
How Death Affects Relationships-What is Death Anxiety?
The death or death of a person means the end of his life. Death fear refers to the fear of dying and death that bothers people. It not only refers to the fear that one feels when facing death, but also includes the fear that one feels when talking about or thinking of death.
01. How Death Affects Relationships-Types of fear of death
1. Predatory Death Anxiety
Fear of self-death refers to the fear of death that arises spontaneously when people face dangerous situations. How Death Affects Relationships? In nature, animals also have such a stress response when facing threats from predators, so that they can respond to threats vigilantly and survive.
But unlike animals, people also show other emotions and feelings such as denial, anger, and despair. These are all normal emotional reactions when people cope with fear, and they are also a self-defense method that helps eliminate people’s inner anxiety and fear in the subconscious mind.
2. Predation Death Anxiety
People’s fear of death when they may cause threats or harm to others is also called “the fear of death of others.” At the same time, this fear is also accompanied by a sense of guilt in the individual’s heart. How Death Affects Relationships is specifically manifested in the fact that informing patients and their families of bad news is usually considered by medical workers to be the most difficult task. This will make them fear of death.
3. Existential Death Anxiety
The existential fear of death does not refer to the fear that people have when facing a specific external threat, but when people realize that death is inevitable for themselves and all other people in the world At the time, a universal sense of fear of death.
Read more: Why Does Pre-marital Anxiety Occur?
02. How Death Affects Relationships-Why do we fear death?
1. The perception of death will affect our fear of death
Sometimes, experiencing the death of family and friends in life can also make a person realize these characteristics of death earlier. Because a person dies, it means that he can no longer get along with his cherished family and friends (irreversible), and cannot fulfill his unfulfilled wish (no function), but everyone will die and will inevitably die.
How Death Affects Relationships? When we are aware of this, we will naturally associate “death” with “loss and separation.” Our fear of loss and separation will transform into a fear of death.
In addition, the family education and cultural environment we receive will also affect our perception of death, which in turn affects our fear of death. How Death Affects Relationships? We have always felt that when we were young, mentioning death would be bad luck and cause bad luck. Death is surrounded by things of terror and grief. Maybe there are people who have participated in funerals for their loved ones, but they are all gloomy and depressing. These have deepened our fear of death. Therefore, the death of a loved one has a great influence on our close relationship.
2. Fear of death because of past regrets
Past regrets refers to the past experience, we have lost some people, and there are still many unending sorrows and regrets in our hearts, such as too late to see him for the last time, too late to speak the love, too late to take him to realize Dreams and so on. How Death Affects Relationships? That’s how it affects.
3. Fear of death because of fear of the future
How Death Affects Relationships? When we think that one day we will pass away and be separated from our cherished family or friends forever, it will inevitably make us think that we still have many things to do or don’t pay enough for our relatives and friends. These are our future regrets.
If we have more unfulfilled wishes, we will be more afraid of separation from this world and significant others, but death is inevitable, irreversible, and will make people lose their physical existence. We are afraid.
03. What can alleviate our fear of death:
Continuing bond, “Continuing bond”, refers to a person maintains a continuous emotional bond with a deceased family member or friend.
Why is it said that continuous bonds can alleviate people’s fear of death? “Continuous bond”, K can help people feel that their relationship can be continued when their loved ones pass away. We do not need to deliberately cut off the emotional connection between each other, do not delete the happy memories that belong to each other, and do not need to force ourselves to learn to let go. He can still exist as an emotional object, and we can still love him. At the same time, we are also willing to believe that one day in the future, even if we pass away, the people around us will not forget us and can still maintain this continuous emotional connection with ourselves.
In a sense, this can help us realize that death does not always mean loss and separation. Our emotions do not need to be separated or abandoned, nor are there always only scenes of sadness and horror. Love and miss. This change in the perception of death and the weakening of the sense of loss and separation help to alleviate people’s fear of death.
Regardless of How Death Affects Relationships, we all need to know that death does not always mean grief and letting go, it can also be a kind of warmth and survival holding on.