woman's side face

Empty Love: Pseudo-Intimacy And Empty Love

Empty Love – Living under the same roof and operating the same marriage relationship, there is a gap between two people that cannot be bridged. There is no common topic, they are unwilling to express emotions with each other, and they are tired of seeing each other. The relationship is full of mistrust and anxiety. They are not divorced, but they cannot be intimate.

[ Before reading this article, please Click and Collect FirstDatingAdvice.com, so that you can continue to receive the latest articles for free. It’s shared every day and a free subscription. Please pay attention. Or contact me in private on BothLive.

We have focused on emotional problems for 8 years, and are good at relationship psychology, intimate relationship recombination, marriage repair, third party separation, charm promotion and remodeling, and emotional maintenance. We have been committed to the analysis and solution of gender problems, for your relationship and marriage escort! ]

Empty Love: Pseudo-Intimacy And Empty Love

Empty Love
“5 years of marriage, almost no sex life”

Thousands of couples are swept by “false intimacy”.

It is mentioned in “Why Love Hurts” that our heart has a three-layer structure: protective layer, trauma, and the deepest part is the true self.

Harmonious intimacy is to get along with the true self, while many couples in real-life use protective layers to attack and collide with each other.

Living under the same roof and operating the same marriage relationship, there is a gap between two people that cannot be bridged. There is no common topic, they are unwilling to express emotions with each other, and they are tired of seeing each other. The relationship is full of mistrust and anxiety. They are not divorced, but they cannot be intimate.

How to deal with Empty Love? “New marriage relationship” is also a kind of pseudo-intimacy. It seems to get along closely, but the emotional problems between each other have always existed. No one is willing to solve the estrangement and difference, and they have to live together for various reasons. . No one wants to expose their true self, and the two live with their shells.

Empty Love
1. In the relationship, we are all like greedy children

“Love is empty?”

Few people are willing to admit that they are “selfish” in intimate relationships. We all think about ourselves, think about our needs, and expect our partners to see through ourselves.

Of course, everyone is self-interested, and this is not a mistake. It’s just that we call our partner “the other half”, which means that we have to flatten half of ourselves and see half of our partner.

When it comes to the depths, we are all like children. Think of your partner as your ideal parent, and long for comfort and love from them. We forget that the partner also expects that he is the “baby”.

Intimacy changes from “real” to “fake”, and both will go through such a process. Two people will change from being in love and willing to give for each other to one who is accustomed to paying and the other is accustomed to enjoying.

When a person is indulged in the feeling of being loved, he will become accustomed to it, and slowly forget to pay attention to the person who loves him, and forget to give the same response to the lover.

How to deal with Empty Love?

Each of us has a side that desires to be loved. We always feel that my feelings are more important than you, my expectations are more important than you, my work is more important than you, and even my parents are more important than you.

In life, we always complain that our partner is not good enough, because our partner makes us lonely, but we forget that our partner may have the same complaints, and he also has his difficulties. When we complain, our partner will feel abandoned and rejected, and will naturally turn on the defense mechanism to quarrel with us.

“Love is empty?” Everyone only thinks of themselves, how can they seek “cooperation” in the relationship?

Empty Love
2. You don’t understand him or yourself

We sometimes act like warriors in our relationship, wearing armor and maintaining a fighting posture at all times.

Because what we feel is the attack of our partners, their dissatisfaction and disgust, just like the disgusting look of our parents in childhood makes us feel that we are not loved. The trauma of childhood will also be transferred to the partner in the relationship.

How to deal with Empty Love?

If we regard ourselves and our partner as an ordinary “person”, we will find that you are not defending him, and he is not deliberately targeting you.

The emotions and traumas we have hidden in our original family will be inadvertently revealed in the intimate relationship. It is precise because I feel that the other person is close enough that these pains will be revealed.

Not only did we fail to see our own needs, but also our partners’ thoughts. Thinking that the most superficial layer of armor is him, in fact, we have not gone through his wounds, and we have not seen the real him.

“Love is empty?” The two “fake selves” are naturally operating “fake relationships.”

Empty Love
3. The business relationship will not become tired, it will only be easier

It is difficult for a husband and wife to be truly intimate and express themselves with the true self. The reason is that they do not trust each other enough, and the other party can’t let you off guard and expose the trauma, thus revealing the real you. So people are used to formal intimacy, living together, sleeping together, and raising children together.

How to deal with Empty Love?

“Real intimate relationship” is just the opposite. Two people help each other and heal each other in the relationship. Some people have a bad temper, but they are willing to change in the relationship; some people are insecure, but try to strengthen themselves in the relationship.

Two people who influence each other will meet a better self because of each other’s existence. Let go of your defenses to read the other person’s life experience and life story, draw energy from the other person, and release your energy.

There are some small ways to break the false intimacy, but this is a process of care and courage.

Empty Love
① Read the real needs of the other party

How to deal with Empty Love?

When a person just wants to be loved and thinks that his needs are more important, he is easy to ask for them aggressively. But if we calm down and listen to each other’s thoughts first, we may be able to open each other’s doors.

She had her needs, and he also had his expectations, but no one went to read each other. Some people may say that everyone is under a lot of pressure in life and has no energy to take care of each other. However, it is precisely to relieve one’s mental pressure and to create a good family atmosphere.

After two people are truly close, they dare to fight against the cold world.

Empty Love
② Reduce expectations for your partner

How to deal with Empty Love?

We must not only learn to love and know ourselves, but also treat our partner as a person in need. Although we can ask for love from them, we must also value their expectations.

Dr. John Beman said that if we can let go of some expectations, we can leave room for each other’s attitudes and relationships; if we let go of disappointment in the past and give more gratitude to our partners, love can flow; if we let go of accusations and accept each other, By caring, appreciating, listening and supporting, the relationship between husband and wife can be more active and energetic.

Don’t think of your partner as your ideal parent, they are just themselves, a traumatized person.

Some people may say that it is too difficult to manage a marriage, and they should not get married at all.

But in fact, it just happens that most of us have to experience intimacy, we have to try to get along with others, to learn this essential skill.

How to deal with Empty Love? Only by revealing the real me in front of real people can we have a real and intimate relationship.

Learning to be alone is the basic mentality. If you have any questions and want to learn more about chatting and dating skills, you can follow FirstDatingAdvice.com to help you get more dating opportunities!

You might also be interested in: What Brings You To Tinder / Bothlive / Clubhouse? Charm Of Stranger Social APP

Want to try FREE safe online dating and get more dates? Download through Privileged Link and you’ll get more exposure. (High exposure can show you to more users)

— About The Writer —

I am Cedric S, a psychologist, and a writer from the other side of the earth. Focus on:

1. Relationship: dating/chatting/breaking up

2. Psychology: relationship/marriage psychology

3. Sex Science

Welcome FirstDatingAdvice.com Or contact me in private on BothLive.

Spread the love

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.