Empaths in relationships: Empathy has been seen as a foundational mindfulness approach to interpersonal relationships, collaborative synergy, and product design.
Empathy is actually an ability to empathize between people.
When we can feel the feelings of others well, it can help us to better expand the links between people, we can make better products and services, and make management work more effectively as well.
The importance of empathy in a career is undeniable.
But many people, like this participant, feel that they are straightforward and do not care about the feelings of others, and then label themselves as “not empathetic” in a negative way.
It is not easy to put aside one’s own feelings and position, to think differently, to feel the feelings of others.
Very often, we will inevitably bury our heads in the pursuit of results and ignore the demands of others.
But I think this does not mean that we do not have the ability to “empathize”.
Lacking empathy in a relationship: In my opinion, empathy is an innate ability in all of us. Think of those babies who are just one or two days old, they can also recognize the cries of other babies and follow them.
Loving an empath: Children as young as one or two years old will often run over to share their toys and comfort each other when they see other children fall down.
So don’t be overly self-denying, and don’t blindly give up on yourself, labeling yourself as not having “empathy” so negatively that you get yourself into a needless emotional internal conflict.
Empaths and relationships: Remember, we do not have empathy, but we do not explore their own ability, so do not know how to better play their empathy.
Discovering “empathy” to make yourself more popular
So how to explore their own empathy, so that it can play its proper role, so as to reap better interpersonal links and understanding, more perfect interpersonal relationships?
I’ll share three methods with you.
1. Exercise empathy in the intersection zone where both parties reach a consensus
Empaths In Relationships: Each of us is a circle, and the interval where two circles intersect is the intersection area where we both agree.
A good relationship is essentially the result of both sides seeking common ground while reserving differences. We exercise empathy and feel the other side’s position, but this does not mean that we should give up our own views to agree with the other side’s views, or detach ourselves to synchronize with the other side’s behavior.
If we are too accommodating to the other person’s differences, ignoring or even forcibly suppressing our own ideas, we will inevitably make ourselves “good guys”.
Even if we put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and try to match the other person’s point of view, we will put ourselves in a very passive position in the relationship.
On the contrary, if we are too insistent on their own views, do not care about the feelings of others, then the other party will naturally be uncomfortable, obviously not conducive to communication, problem solving and maintenance of relationships.
Therefore, in between, we must pay attention to and maintain a good “sense of boundaries”.
Empaths In Relationships: We should focus more on the same points based on the consensus range reached and owned by both sides, and truly see each other’s position, feelings and emotions, in order to harvest good relationships.
2. Keep the “spirit of inquiry” and ask more questions that start with “I want to know”
Loving an empath: Keep the spirit of inquiry is to explore the possibilities of things, so that we can look at things from a different perspective and understand things more fully.
For example, if the leader scolds you for no reason, many guesses will pop up in your head: “The leader is sick, right? , “Did I do something wrong?” Therefore, you will fall into emotional internal conflict, and even make impulsive behavior.
For example, if you think, “What’s wrong with the leader, why is he scolding people for no reason”, you will feel resentful and feel that the leader is targeting me, so you can’t stay in the company anymore, and you may leave impulsively.
Empaths and relationships: But if we keep the spirit of inquiry, think about the possibility of other things, or curiously ask: “Leader, I want to know where you are angry today because I have not done well enough? What can I do next to avoid similar problems?”
On the one hand, you can make the other party reflect on their own behavior, on the other hand, we can also understand the real reason for things.
3. Provide feedback confirmation when necessary
Empaths in relationships: Within the intersection of mutual agreement, we have a good understanding of each other’s words, expressions, behaviors, emotions, motives, and thinking logic through curious inquiry.
But when the situation is complex and we are worried about whether we have fully understood the other person’s thoughts and intentions, we have another important skill: feedback confirmation.
By directly restating the actions you intend to take, you can reassure the other party and put your mind at ease.
Empaths in relationships: In the previous example, the leader scolded me for no reason, and by probing, we also got the leader to say what he intended for us to do.
However, because the leader was expressing his thoughts interspersed with emotions and more information beyond that.
At this point we can use the skill of “feedback confirmation” to validate our ideas.
I’m Jocelyn, and I hope you will all meet someone who loves you. If you have emotional problems, you can ask me for advice. If you are single, maybe you can meet him/her on Bothlive.