What is the secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman? Here you need to understand that girls are in love. The sense of security lost by girls in love can be summarized as the sense of security in interpersonal relationship. It means that we’re here.
In the process of interaction with others, whether we believe that we will be accepted, recognized and liked by each other, and whether others will not leave or abandon us.
This is a reaction based on the quality and safety of interpersonal relationship.
The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman– They are lack sense of security
The so-called “I have no sense of security in love” of girls is usually divided into two parts.
External sense of security: the external performance of the sense of security, easy to be detected. For example, a girl is in love all day.
Nagging that her boyfriend doesn’t love her very much and is afraid of being broken up.
Inner sense of security: this sense of security is a more complex level and is not easy to detect. It’s not just about whether her boyfriend will leave her; it’s more about whether she believes in herself – whether she can really get a stable intimate relationship. To put it bluntly, it’s about whether she is “worthy of her partner.”.
The overall sense of security is like the picture. The external sense of security is like the duckling. It seems that it has “smoothly” landed on the surface of the water, but in fact, the whale under the water (internal sense of security) is about to suffocate. That is to say, “I have no sense of security when I fall in love with you” that girls often talk about in their daily life.
The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman– Security is more often a delicate internal demand
Psychologist Freud pointed out: how was the earliest need for internal security met. This form of satisfaction will affect the impression, concept and framework of inner security formed in your heart. It will also affect whether everyone can experience security in an intimate relationship in the future.
Girls who lack a sense of security and ordinary people have different behaviors of worrying about gain and loss in love. The former is more violent and more likely to cause unnecessary misunderstandings in intimate relationships.
The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman– There are six characteristics of the unstable girls
1. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: 99% of the girls who lack the sense of security belong to the “anxious attachment” in the attachment model. They are extremely eager for their partner’s company, and even feel that each other’ s daily itinerary report is a reassuring and reasonable thing.
2. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: In an intimate relationship, because they are afraid of abandoning or are aware of the signs of abandonment, they like to use “fake breakup” as a threat to prove that the other party still loves themselves. They break up just to be saved.
From a psychological point of view, the deeper root of this threat generally comes from their lack of confidence in themselves rather than their dissatisfaction with their partner.
3. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: They are always in a state of “emotional hunger” when they treat their feelings. They hope that the other party can complete their life. Although this original intention is not too wrong, they always doubt and fear that the other party does not want to achieve the same intimacy.
4. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: If others are a little better to themselves, they would like to give all the best things to each other. They would like to open their hearts and lungs prematurely and expose themselves. When chatting with your partner, if the other party doesn’t speak for more than half an hour, you will begin to doubt whether you have made a mistake and provoked the other party. The root cause is inferiority.
5. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: Many girls lack a sense of security, the root cause is the lack of love from childhood. Physiologically, it may be manifested as “skin hunger and thirst”, that is, because of the desire for security and intimacy, in love, it will be more active to want to hold hands with each other, hug and kiss and other physical contact.
6. The secret struggle of the emotionally unavailable woman: The appearance of language violence is a common behavior of some girls who lack a sense of security. In love, because they are afraid of being abandoned, they choose to constantly attack each other’ s weaknesses, so that the other party has a sense of low value. When the other party doubts their value and has no courage to break up, they also get a sense of security.
There is another obvious characteristic of girls who lack a sense of security, which can be called ” emotional thinking.“
When the idea of “does she love me” comes out of men’ s mind, they will think about the problem according to the similar legal “no doubt crime”, that is, first assume that the other party loves you, and then look for evidence from reality to prove that the other party does not love them. If there is no way to find concrete evidence, men will stop doubting. This is a typical logical thinking.
When insecure women are faced with the same situation, they tend to think according to “* suspected crime comes from *”, that is to say, they assume that the other person doesn’t love you anymore, and then look for evidence to aggravate the idea. Because of their negative evaluation of their partners to find details, many details will be magnified by them, and the possibility of “misjudgment” will be much higher. This is called emotional thinking.
It’s never easy to meet the right person. When you find that you have missed the one you once loved, you still have to be full of hope for her or him in the future. If you want to find anyone to listen to your sad stories, come to BothLive and meet your soul mate.