How to get the courage to love? In relationships, we often ask for love, whether it’s an intimate relationship, or a normal relationship, or a passer-by relationship. We all need to get the love we lack from another person.
Love is a broad word. Specifically speaking, the need for love means that we need attention, recognition, respect, attention, acceptance, tolerance… And money from others. Even those who claim to be independent and don’t need others need love. They just don’t want to admit it.
Read more: 4 Signs Your Spouse Is Planning A Divorce
5 ways on how to have the courage to love
1. Have the courage to love? Learn to control your emotions
Have the courage to love? In a relationship, emotion is the most common way to ask for love. For example, common anger“ I’m angry with you “means” I need you so much. “. Because I can’t say I need you, I have to express it with anger. I’m angry that you kept me waiting for a long time. Actually, I think you don’t attach importance to me. I hope you can give me more attention.
I’m very angry that you made a negative comment. Actually, I hope you don’t ignore my opinions. I hope you can see and pay attention to them.
The boss was angry that the staff didn’t do a good job. Is it just because it affects performance? If it’s just performance, wouldn’t it be better for us to discuss a better plan? In fact, at this time of angry, because you did not do a good job, affected my sense of value. I hope you take care of my sense of worth.
You are angry with passers-by a for spitting everywhere, because you think “people should be civilized”. If you are civilized, why should passerby a be the same as you? Because you subconsciously expect passers-by a to think that you are a civilized person, you are a person with quality, and hope that he will praise you. Sad, disappointed, wronged. There is nothing better than that.
2. Have the courage to love? Make yourself better
Have the courage to love? Some people like to dress beautifully, which is actually the need to be recognized. If you have to say that it’s to please yourself, then I suggest you read, write and do housework at home by yourself.
We will deliberately show our good side and cover up our bad side. Because we need to be recognized. There is a fantasy in our subconscious mind:
Do you like me when I’m good?
Is it that if I’m good, cool, obedient, you’ll like me?
Am I trying to be what you expect. You’re going to like me?
Do you like me if I dress up as you like?
Therefore, when we are lovelorn, we like to ask: which is not good enough for me, you have to leave me.
3. Have the courage to love? Learn to give
Have the courage to love? The logic of asking is: if I am good to you, you should be good to me. If I have a clear conscience for you, you should consciously treat me better. If you owe me, you should pay it back the way I want.
If a person can’t accept “I am a person with needs”, he will put himself on the commanding point of giving and ask others to give. In this way, he can not only take, but also avoid my feeling of need for you. There is a kind of giving out of love rather than taking: I do it for you, because I am very satisfied. That’s what I need to love you.
4. Have the courage to love? Know how to avoid
Have the courage to love? The more you need someone, the more passive you are. The more you desire, the more you pretend to be indifferent.
Some people are ashamed of taking the initiative, but they are ashamed of the enthusiasm of others. Because they need others so much in their heart. When we need others too much, our subconscious has already put ourselves in a humble position. I can’t accept my inferiority, so I have to defend with indifference.
Only those who are really less so-called can be cheeky, active and enthusiastic. There are so-called people who are afraid that their enthusiasm scares each other and suppress them. For those who can’t take the initiative, the more exact expression is: I’m afraid I need you too much and scare you.
5. Have the courage to love? Keep consistency
Have the courage to love? Consistency means that if I need you, I’ll just say it. This is a high-level need other people’s segment. In the process of relationship advancement and intimacy, a very important ability is language. I express my pain and desire in words, not in action.
Consistent expression requires courage. The courage is that we need to believe in relationships. Believe that the other party is willing to meet you. Believe that the other person is willing to protect your inner activities.
It’s never easy to meet the right person. When you find that you have missed the one you once loved, you still have to be full of hope for her or him in the future. If you want to find anyone to listen to your sad stories, come to BothLive and meet your soul mate.
Read more: Enchanted Love: The Killer Of Relationship