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Girls Question: Why Am I Not Enough For Him?

Hello, I’m Cynthia, an emotional writer. It’s a great honor for you to click on this article. This article comes from Firstdatingadvice, hoping to bring you life and emotional guidance.

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Why am I not enough for him?

This is a typical avoidant attachment personality.

When someone is close to you and an intimate relationship comes, you will subconsciously choose to resist. In fact, you are eager to love and be loved. But because of your inferiority complex, you always feel that you are not worthy of being loved by others. Even if you force yourself into an intimate relationship, you will expose more and more problems as time goes on, and eventually the other party can’t bear to leave, He refused to start because he was afraid of a bad ending.

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In the eyes of outsiders, this kind of people belong to the high cold group. They never take the initiative to approach people, and it’s hard for others to approach them. Only they know that high cold is hard to approach. In fact, they are extremely eager to be loved. But because of their inferiority and fear that they are not good enough to screw up the relationship, they have to choose to escape and pretend that they don’t need love.

Girls question: Why am I not enough for him? 1The expression of avoidant personality in life

Why am I not enough for him? 01. Afraid of the crowd, used to be alone

Avoidant personality is naturally afraid of intimacy. Only when you are alone can you feel safe and comfortable.

Because of their extreme self-confidence, in the face of the crowd, they will feel very uncomfortable, because they feel that they are not good enough and have a lot of shortcomings, for fear of being seen through by others.

Therefore, most of the time, such people refuse to socialize. Even if they are reluctant to socialize, they will only stay in the corner and rarely talk. A small number of avoidant personalities will be extroverted and talkative when facing the crowd, but the purpose is to hide their true self.

Social interaction is a kind of mental consumption for avoidant personality. Only when they are alone can they completely relax and recover their energy.

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Why am I not enough for him? 02. Extremely sensitive, irritable

People with avoidant personality are more vulnerable than glass in their heart, but they are completely opposite to their heart.

For example, we sometimes meet a kind of person who didn’t speak for a period of time after the last chat and found that he had been hacked when he sent a message to him.

At this time, we are basically at a loss. We can’t remember where we have offended him.

Why am I not enough for him? In fact, it may be a very small detail that normal people don’t care about or can’t find at all, but people with avoidant personality can easily feel that they are more sensitive than normal people, and a word or a small action unintentionally made by others can make a big stir in their hearts, But the behavior they show is often very “rigid”: they directly pull black or have a big fight.

So they are irritable and irritable in the eyes of many people. In fact, it is because they are too sensitive and feel hurt. They are just protecting themselves in this way.

Why am I not enough for him? 03. Don’t do anything you’re not sure about

Avoidant personality in the face of things and challenges, the first reaction is always retreat, because of inferiority, do not believe that they have the ability to do things well, so when the challenge comes, their heart voice is always: I can’t, I can’t do anything well.

This kind of character leads them not to do things, but once they decide to do it, they must be very confident.

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Inferiority makes it difficult for them to accept failure. They will only do it when they are sure that it is impossible for them to fail. Only in this way can they have enough sense of security.

Girls question: Why am I not enough for him? 2The causes of avoidant personality

In addition to a small number of people born with avoidant personality, most of the avoidant personality is formed because of their own growth environment.

Why am I not enough for him? When a child is just born, it’s like a piece of white paper. After that, all experiences are filled in this piece of white paper. Parents are the people who have the longest contact with their children and the people who have the most ink on the white paper.

The reason for the formation of avoidant personality is that when I was a child, I didn’t get enough care and affirmation from my parents. For example, some parents were very strict, and even if their children made a small mistake, they would severely criticize: “why can’t you do this little thing well, how can you be so stupid?”

Over time, the child’s subconscious will produce a fixed thinking: I’m really stupid, really can’t do anything well. So as to produce inferiority complex.

Therefore, we often find that children whose parents are willing to praise are generally confident and generous, while children whose parents are strict and harsh are generally self abased and timid.

It is seldom affirmed by people. After a long time, people will feel that they are really not good enough, not worthy of praise and love.

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Girls question: Why am I not enough for him? 3How does avoidant personality change the status quo

Why am I not enough for him? 01. Know yourself correctly

The inner evaluation of all avoidant personalities is very low. They feel that they are particularly bad, that they are not good anywhere, that they have almost no advantages, and that they are not worthy of being liked by others.

Why am I not enough for him? But are these really facts? Or are you just thinking that on purpose?

Try to ask the people around you seriously, let them say what they think of you, or directly let them say your advantages, you will find a new world.

The so-called spectators see clearly, you think you are very bad, because you are trapped in the bureau can not see clearly, and the people around you are basically objective and fair, you will find yourself in other people’s eyes is not so bad, you have many advantages, there are many aspects worthy of being liked.

The first step to overcome the inferiority complex is to have a correct understanding of oneself and improve self-evaluation.

Why am I not enough for him? 02. Know others correctly

In addition to low self-evaluation, low self-esteem also leads to high evaluation of others. They are afraid that others will compare themselves with others. However, subconsciously, they will compare themselves with others. They think that others are better than themselves in any way. Comparing themselves with others is nothing but rubbish.

In fact, everyone has their own shining point, but there has never been a perfect person. No matter how excellent a person is, there will always be shortcomings. It’s just that other people are good at hiding, or you are not good at discovering other people’s bad places.

It’s a good thing to be good at discovering the advantages of others, but it’s a wrong thing to belittle yourself because others are good enough. No matter how good others are, they all have shortcomings, and no matter how bad you are, they all have advantages.

Why am I not enough for him? If you don’t have all five tones and other people sing very well, you feel that you are very poor and can’t match others. But what you don’t know is that he can’t even draw the most basic simple strokes, and you can easily draw lifelike paintings yourself.

You think you can’t do it. The person who likes you is excellent and worthy of being better. But in fact, the other person may not be as good as you think. He likes you because he finds your advantages and knows his shortcomings.

Everyone is a unique landscape, no one is really worse than who, just shining in different aspects.

Why am I not enough for him? 03. Make positive self suggestion

Basically, people with evasive personality are very reluctant to face their inner feelings. They know that they have inferiority complex, but they are not willing to admit that they have inferiority complex. It’s like clearly wanting something, but they feel that they are not worthy of it, so they simply say that they don’t want it.

In fact, we should all make it clear that inferiority is not a very shameful thing. On the contrary, proper inferiority can make us realize our shortcomings and make efforts to make up for them. If we blindly evade and are not willing to face and admit inferiority, we can only stagnate and abandon ourselves.

Therefore, when you encounter something, you should hint yourself not to escape, and tell yourself that it’s not that you really can’t do it, but that inferiority complex is causing trouble. As long as you work hard, you can succeed.

Why am I not enough for him? Every day or every time I encounter a challenge, I tell myself repeatedly in my heart: I can, I can do it, I can do it with hard work. I try to overcome the sense of inferiority, instead of escaping from it, but let it take root in my heart.

Why am I not enough for him? In fact, I feel unworthy of being loved. To put it bluntly, I feel inferiority complex. I am eager to be loved, but I feel unworthy of all the good things.

But you must know that no one in the world is perfect, everyone has their own bad side, you are not as bad as you think, others are not as good as you think.

Inferiority is not a bad thing, the important thing is to learn to use inferiority, to know their own shortcomings, not to abandon themselves, but to try to improve their own shortcomings.

In addition, the most important thing is to have the courage to accept love, even if you feel that you are not good enough, but in the eyes of people who like you, no matter how you are the best, the people who will leave because they see you are not really like you, the people who really like you will accept tolerance.

There’s no need to miss someone who really likes you because you’re afraid of losing someone who doesn’t like you enough, right?

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