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He’s Not Into Me: What’s Wrong With Me?

He’s Not Into Me: The person I love doesn’t love me that much. What’s wrong? He’s not into me anymore! What should I do?

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He’s Not Into Me: What’s Wrong With Me?

  • Is he into me or not?
  • How do I know he’s into me?
  • What are the signs he’s not into me?
  • He’s just not that into me. I feel bad.
  • He’s not into me anymore! What should I do?

He’s Not Into Me: The person I love doesn’t love me that much. What’s wrong?

READ MORE: 6 Signs He Is Not Into You: The Cruel Truth In Relationships


You start to see the patterns in yourself and try to understand them, you are already healing yourself.

“I think I expressed it very clearly. He still ignores it. He may not really like me that much. But every time I fall in love, it is the person who treats me like this…”

“Why do I always fall in love with someone who ignores me? Many times I also feel that the other person doesn’t really like me. How can I stop this cycle?”

These questions are deeply imprinted in my mind. I decided to use more space to peel off this layer of “undispersible clouds”. If you have similar troubles, through today’s article, you will find that: This is neither a mental illness nor an inevitable law. All this has a cause and a solution. I hope that everyone will no longer be anxious about it.

He’s Not Into Me
How to tell if he really likes you?

Many times, we feel that the other person does not like ourselves enough, perhaps because our understanding of love is so biased that we cannot correctly judge whether the other person really likes ourselves, and we will be easily disappointed.

Therefore, before getting into this model, you must first distinguish whether the other party really doesn’t like you. Here are two criteria for judging:

He’s Not Into Me
1. The other person’s words are the same for a while, only actions are what you need to pay attention to most

How do I know he’s into me? I have asked many men: “You really like a woman, what would you do to her?” Their answers are similar in several places:

(1) Put her interests more important than yourself, and can’t let her be wronged;

(2) When she is in need, I will show up as soon as possible, and when she is not in need, I will not miss the opportunity to show good;

(3) I always want to buy her something. When I pay her salary every month, without spending any money on her, I will feel uncomfortable;

(4) I hope to show my goodness in front of her. Any behavior that can be praised or approved by the other party will continue to be done.

The expression of words is instantaneous, it is very likely to be affected by mood swings, and it is difficult to maintain it all the time. It cannot be used as a guarantee of like and love. Verbal expression is often only a temporary rise. At that moment, maybe he likes you, but how much he likes depends on the follow-up performance.

He’s Not Into Me
2. Don’t regard the other person’s willfulness as love

Is he into me or not?

In the mouth of a woman whose love judgment is inaccurate, it is easy to hear these kinds of words:

  • “He is not so strict with others, only to me, so in his heart, I am different from other women.”
  • “He is so unreasonable, but this is true. It proves that there is no need to pretend in front of me. Others don’t have this kind of treatment.”
  • “He always hides things in his heart and doesn’t tell me or lose his temper with me. When he gets angry, he goes out to find someone else. I know he is causing me guilt…”

You have fallen into the whirlpool of love, let your feelings walk on thin ice.

He’s Not Into Me
Why do you always fall in love with people who don’t like you?

He’s Not Into Me
1. Intense pain, that is not love!

For this problem, the most important thing is that many people regard the painful moments when they get along with each other as an expression of their love for him. The more painful they are, the more deeply they feel in love.

Charles Brenner explained in the book “Introduction to Psychoanalysis” that the most basic mechanism of human psychological operation is to “give pleasure and avoid pain”, and in the hearts of women with such misunderstandings, they will feel that they have only rebellious nature. It is the expression of love that makes me look great, “If I didn’t love him, how could I ask for trouble? How great I am!” Therefore, when they feel pain in this relationship, they will rationalize this pain.

For example, I always like to eat sweets, but for him, I have to quit to prove that I love him!

Pain is certainly part of the mutual growth of every relationship, but this cannot be understood as the essence of love. Everyone instinctively dislikes those who bring them pain. Only when you think of him, happiness is greater than sadness. I really like that person. Otherwise, you are just heartbroken for your contribution.

He’s Not Into Me
2. This is a manifestation of low self-esteem and self-certification!

People with low self-esteem often feel that they are not good enough to be worthy of beautiful things and feelings. Therefore, when they face someone who doesn’t like them so much, the other’s various behaviors of not loving her will make them feel that the relationship is so real because they can appear that they are not good enough and that they are not good enough to have a sense of reality; A person who likes himself together will not feel the existence of himself.

They struggled in a painful relationship as if to prove to themselves, “I am worthy of love, you see! People who don’t like me satisfy me because of my plea.” They cannot recognize their value from the bottom of their hearts, so You need to continue to prove your value and charm by “making people who don’t like yourself be good to yourself”.

Obviously, most attempts failed.

For this type of woman, before pursuing true love and happiness, she needs to find herself first. Because it is their own that prevents them from reaping happiness. Only if they can accept that they are worthy of love, without proof, can they be able to accept the happiness given by others.

He’s Not Into Me
Want to stop? Here are 2 tips

He’s Not Into Me
1. Periodically summarize how you feel about getting along with “that person”

– During this time, am I happy overall?

– Is my discomfort and grievance caused by his behavior, or is it the price I paid for this relationship?

– Does he know all my needs? Are these requirements reasonable? How much is he satisfied?

– Is he willing to take on my negative emotions? Can he coax me well?

When you are asking yourself these questions, you can figure out whether your pain and happiness are balanced for liking him. If you can’t get a clear answer, try to persist a few more times. As you try a few more cycles, the answer will become clearer and clearer.

He’s Not Into Me
2. Learn healthy intimacy patterns

Through books, articles, courses, and follow our website, you can let you know the dimensions of a healthy and stable intimate relationship, and how to judge them. I will not list them all here. But my suggestion is that every woman who is struggling and confused in feelings should calm down and spend a period of time learning the knowledge and framework of intimacy.

Learning to be alone is the basic mentality. If you have any questions and want to learn more about chatting and dating skills, you can follow FirstDatingAdvice.com to help you get more dating opportunities!

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