Why do people choose Friends with benefits with ex? A common sentence when breaking up is: “Let’s be friends.” Indeed, friendship, as a kind of intimacy between lovers and ordinary acquaintances, is often used as a way of transition. So, what are the motives and expectations behind the behavior of “Friends with benefits with ex”?
Griffith concluded that he chose Friends with benefits with ex mainly for four reasons:
1. The reason for choosing Friends with benefits with ex-the need for security
The relationship with others is always the source of our sense of security, even in order to gain a sense of security, we need to make other compromises, sacrifices, and sacrifices. In many cases, Friends with benefits with ex has the idea that even if two people can no longer continue a romantic relationship, we are still people who can give each other a sense of security to a certain extent. At the same time, there will be reasons for friends with benefits with ex to get them back.
For most people, we don’t want to lose such a person who can be trusted and depended on, a person who has a common language and can communicate, a person who can share secrets, or a person who can give support, help, and advice to each other. So it is normal for us to have the idea of Friends with benefits with ex.
2. Reasons for choosing Friends with benefits with ex-practical reasons
Sometimes, Friends with benefits with ex after a relationship breaks down, but also for practical reasons. For example, one party needs financial support from one party, the two parties have common children, there is overlap in work, and common friends, and they don’t want to lose the social resources that this relationship brings, and so on. In addition, the reason for Friends with benefits with ex is that when two people are together, they often share a lot of secrets. Therefore, one party may also be afraid that an overly intense and resolute breakup will cause the two parties to turn against each other and lead to the other party. Leaking secrets about yourself, or spreading information that is not good for you, etc.
3. The reason for choosing Friends with benefits with ex-out of courtesy (civility)
Some people choose Friends with benefits with ex as a transition because they do not want to hurt each other’s feelings, but want to avoid conflict, harm, or reduce the guilt brought by the breakup. This often happens to the party who advocates breaking up.
4. The reason for choosing Friends with benefits with ex-unresolved romantic desires
When the relationship is forced to break down, but the emotional needs of both parties or one of them have not been completely resolved, it often leads to the two parties choosing to continue to meet these needs in the form of Friends with benefits with ex.
When both parties choose friends with benefits after breaking up for this reason, the behavior is often intuitive-instinctively feel that the other party still has a romantic attraction to them, your Ex wants to be friends with benefits, this is because There are still sexual desires and needs, so it is impossible to completely disconnect from the other party. In many cases, one of the parties does not want to break up.
The above are the four common reasons for choosing Friends with benefits with ex after breaking up. In general, the reasons for maintaining friendship after breaking up are complex and changeable. When both parties in the relationship choose Friends with benefits with ex, their starting points may also be different. For example, one party may still love each other strongly, just wanting to retreat and satisfy emotional needs in friendship; The other party will stay in this relationship out of security, guilt, and unwillingness to cause harm.
02. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex
1. Choose the hazards of Friends with benefits with ex-chronic injury
After breaking up, the feelings cannot disappear all at once, and Friends with benefits with an ex will cause chronic harm.
2. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-it is difficult for you to move on
After breaking up, we need time to heal and reflect on this relationship. If we continue to Friends with benefits with ex, it will affect the judgment and analysis of the relationship and make it difficult to move forward.
3.Choose the harm of Friends with benefits with ex-unnecessary trouble
Breakups are often not made by both parties at the same time, but one party throws off the other. The person who is dumped usually has love. Friends with benefits with your ex may turn into hatred because of being dumped. The more you love, the more you hate. If you continue to be friends with your ex, you may be friends with someone who hates you. This may cause you unnecessary trouble.
4. Choose the harm of Friends with benefits with ex-waste time and miss the right person
Continue to be friends, the relationship may be divided and combined. Couples who split and reunite often have no good results. Even if they get married, there is a high probability that they will be unhappy in the future and even divorce. This will delay you a lot of time and opportunities. If you have to be friends, please follow friends with benefits with an ex rules.
5. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-embarrassing, uncomfortable
When we see our ex had a better life than ourselves, we must be in a bad mood, especially when he shows his affection in the circle of friends all day long. In addition, gathering of friends and meeting with the incumbent of the ex is a rather embarrassing thing.
6. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-you don’t lack friends
One less friend from your ex will not affect you much. You can find more people to be friends. Friends with benefits with ex, it is not good for you.
7. The hazards of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-some people will continue to get hurt
Maintaining a relationship will keep your unresolved problems, and some people may be harmed by previous problems in the future.
8. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-the prejudice of former relatives and friends
After breaking up, former relatives and friends cannot treat you as they did in the past, they must have prejudice against you, and even hate you. You can settle your suspicions with your ex, but you will never get the understanding of your ex relatives and friends.
9. The harm of choosing Friends with benefits with ex-impact on new relationships
No one would think that their target is pure to be friends with their predecessor. If you respect the current one, you should decisively draw a line with your predecessor. From the current point of view, any of your reasons for emphasizing the benefits and rationality of Friends with benefits with ex are to find excuses for developing improper relationships in the future.
I’m Chloe, I am an emotional counselor.