They all say “Where you are wrong can meet the right one”, but breakups hurt, it is always hard to avoid:
Why do heartbreaks hurt so bad? The main manifestation of Breakups hurt is insomnia every night, not falling asleep, and wanting to cry at every turn; Another manifestation of Breakups hurt is that on the surface, no matter how much fun or laughter, the inner feeling of loneliness is still lingering; Breakups hurt, whether you are at work or at home, you always think of him from time to time. She is sad, and I don’t know when I will come out…
If you are going through a breakup, you may often encounter the above Breakups hurt and don’t know how to deal with it. Breaking up is never a trivial matter. In addition to what we often say “Let time heal everything”, we hope that the following psychological knowledge can help you better spend this difficult time and avoid Breakups hurt as soon as possible.
01. After breaking up, how do we generally deal with Breakups hurt?
What kind of people we are affects the way we deal with breakups.
Breaking up means the end of intimacy. Different adults have three types of attachment, safety, anxiety and contradiction, and avoidance when facing intimacy. They have different coping styles after a breakup, and the Breakups hurt or breakup pain they endure is also different.
1. Safe you: For Breakups hurt, you will have open and reasonable communication needs
In an intimate relationship, the safe type of you is often dominated by positive emotions such as trust and self-confidence. You will believe that you are lovely, others are trustworthy, and love can last;
Why do breakups hurt? Because after breaking up, you may be inclined to openly and reasonably communicate your Breakups hurt with other attachments around you, such as talking to your parents about your Breakups hurt, and seeking comfort and companionship from your friends. How to break up with someone you love without hurting them? Just say what you think boldly.
2. Anxious and contradictory you: For Breakups hurt, use flirting or accusations to let your ex meet his needs
How to break up with your girlfriend without hurting her? This is impossible in an intimate relationship. Anxious and ambivalent you have more conflicting emotions, more Breakups hurt, easy to fall in love, desire to be intimate with the other party, but worry about “He/she does not really love me,” Or can’t bear Breakups hurt;
After breaking up, Breakups hurt you may fall into a mode of constant switching: flirting with each other frivolously for a while, accusing each other angrily for a while, and wanting to let your ex meet your needs through these methods.
3. Avoidance type you: For Breakups hurt, suppress sadness, carry it alone
Why do breakups hurt even when you wanted it? This is because in an intimate relationship, the avoidant type of you is often afraid of Breakups hurt, and it is difficult to trust the other person. You may doubt whether love can last, or think that you can be happy without love. After the breakup, you will deliberately suppress the Breakups hurt caused by the breakup and choose to carry it on yourself. You often think about how to break up with someone without hurting them.
02. How to face Breakups hurt
1. Face Breakups hurt-put away all his related items
To effectively avoid Breakups hurt, you can put away all items related to the previous relationship, such as letters, songs, photos and memorabilia. Because these things related to memories will bring misses, maintain the brain circuits related to romance and passion in the brain, induce our desire for relationships, and are not conducive to the healing of Breakups hurt after a breakup. The courage to let go of everything related to the past is the first step to get out of Breakups hurt.
2. Facing Breakups hurt-don’t contact your ex for now
If you want to let go of the Breakups hurt of this relationship more easily, it is best not to continue to meet and keep in touch with your ex. Many people want to alleviate Breakups hurt by contacting their ex, and the result is often to reactivate more Breakups hurt. Just like seeing items related to your ex, contacting your ex will activate the circuits related to intimacy in your brain and induce your desire for feelings.
3. Face Breakups hurt-get love and relief from your friends
When you want to contact your ex, you might as well contact a friend. Contacting a friend or seeing a friend’s photo activates the attachment-related areas of the brain, replacing the urge to contact the ex. So, if you are back to being single, you might as well gather with your old friends and take a group photo when you go shopping together. As long as you are willing, you have never been alone, and Breakups hurt will not easily hurt you from then on.
4. Facing Breakups hurt-it’s not so easy to think about it if you are busy
After breaking up, the attention was taken away by the other party, perhaps just because you were too idle. After breaking up, we can distract ourselves from our ex by being moderately busy (Fisher, Xu, Aron, & Brown, 2016), relieve Breakups hurt, and arrange our lives according to our interests. Take a course that you have long wanted to learn and participate in a volunteer service to enrich your single life.
5. Face Breakups hurt-do happy things and then laugh happily
Laughter will bring about facial muscle movement and activate the brain’s neural pathways to produce a feeling of happiness. You can do things that are easy to laugh. Try to watch some fun variety shows, experience fun things with interesting friends, or pay attention to a few funny jokes, in any case, make yourself smile more every day, and ease your sad emotions.
6. Facing Breakups hurt-try to record some positive energy every day
Maybe at the beginning, in order to attract attention and stimulate the other person, you will not be able to bear the grievances and bitterness on Weibo, and post some innuendo text in the circle of friends. I thought it would relieve Breakups hurt.
But compared to just seeing Breakups hurt and negative energy, people who are more focused on recording positive energy after a breakup experience more positive emotions. How can a person who wants to move forward unhurriedly be trapped by Breakups hurt? Give yourself a little positive energy, look at the friends and family around you who care about you, and look at the time and freedom you have regained after you are single. These are all beautiful things that are happening in your life. You deserve to have a new life.